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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4578 - September 6, 2020

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest


Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

Thank you for your feedback and comments about the new Cybersalt Digest newsletter template! Please keep them coming as you have ideas. You may notice a few changes in today's mailing, which include:

  • a darker colour for the titles
  • a nicer divider between the content items
  • adjusted spacing between the content items

Also of note:

  • Today's illustration is being rerun today because I had something set incorrectly and the whole item was not showing.
  • The newsletter is not displaying properly in Microsoft Outlook. I am looking for a fix for this.
  • YouTube videos are handled differently in this updated system. As you will see below, the image for clicking to view a video is much smaller. I may be able to find a way around this, but that may take a while to figure out.

Today's video share features a 93 year-old who still has a great singing voice. It was originally shared with me on FaceBook, but I tracked it down on YouTube so I could include it here.

One Day at a TIme

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim



First Day

child sixLittle Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had plenty of time to eat breakfast and get ready on the first day, his mother woke everybody up early -- so early that it was still dark.

After looking outside Little Johnny went down the hall and found his mother dressing in the bedroom. He looked so troubled that his mother asked, "What's wrong?" mustering as much cheerfulness into her voice as she could at that hour. "This is your big day!"

Little Johnny blurted, "You didn't tell me I was going to night school."



One-Liner #1504

Is it time for your medication or mine?



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Accident Cause

car lincolnThe part of the automobile responsible for most accidents is the nut holding the steering wheel .



Quote #1942


quote 1942

"Duty is the handmaiden of love and honor. It is doing that which is right rather than that which is convenient. In fact, failure of duty generally amputates somebody else's right. Duty recognizes a cause greater than one's self. As men and as fathers we have a duty before God and man to do what is right, honorable, and sacrificial."

- Ravi Zacharias



A Strong Woman vs A Woman of Strength

womanA strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape,
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything,
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her,
but a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone...

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future;
a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them...

A strong woman walks sure footedly,
but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face,
but a woman of strength wears grace...

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey,
but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

- Marta S. Hardy


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

First Day

child sixLittle Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had plenty of time to eat breakfast and get ready on the first day, his mother woke everybody up early -- so early that it was still dark.

After looking outside Little Johnny went down the hall and found his mother dressing in the bedroom. He looked so troubled that his mother asked, "What's wrong?" mustering as much cheerfulness into her voice as she could at that hour. "This is your big day!"

Little Johnny blurted, "You didn't tell me I was going to night school."

  • Clean Jokes
  • Mother Jokes
  • Parenting Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Kid Jokes

Accident Cause

car lincolnThe part of the automobile responsible for most accidents is the nut holding the steering wheel .

  • Clean Puns
  • car puns
  • Accident Jokes
  • Transportation Puns

One-Liner #1504

man confusedIs it time for your medication or mine?

  • One-liners
  • Relationship One-liners
  • Saying One-liners
  • Medical One-liners
  • Friendship One-Liners

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4577 - September 3, 2020

 Use this link to view this Issue online! 

The Cybersalt Digest


Cybersalt News

chicken thursday August 13Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Remember me, lol?

Two weeks ago there was no Chicken Thursday mailing because of a DOS attack on the server. Last Chicken Thursday something happened to my newsletter software and the Cybersalt email templates went a little wonky. I could have searched for and fixed the problem, but for a long time now there has been a new version of the program available and I decided it was time to update. This meant that I had to redo the Cybersalt Digest template which was, like me, getting old and tired anyways.

After missing last Sunday's mailing, I am happy to present to you a new, responsive, mobile friendly Cybersalt Digest template. There may be some tweaks left to do over the next few weeks, but I think it's a big improvement.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim



Lawyer Choice

lawyerThere was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both came from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?"

In seconds, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside.

"I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"

"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.

"Your hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"



One-Liner #1503

Home-Schooling Update:

My child just said, "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year."



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Acceptance Pun

football playerA college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action.

A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."

His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said,

"That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"



Quote #1941

 quote 1941

CFO to CEO: "What happens if we invest in developing our people and then they leave us?"
CEO: "What happens if we don't and they stay?"

- Unknown



A Strong Woman vs A Woman of Strength

womanA strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape,
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything,
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her,
but a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone...


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

If you got this mailing but think you never subscribed, you may have received it after someone forwarded it to you.

  1. Tower Time
  2. Smart Bully
  3. One-Liner #1503
  4. Lawyer Choice

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4687
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1572

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4687

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4687

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2049

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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