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Entertainment

One-Liner #1503

woman surprised2Home-Schooling Update:

My child just said, "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year."

  • One-liners
  • School Jokes
  • Student Jokes
  • Parenting One-liners
  • Teacher One-liners

Lawyer Choice

lawyerThere was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul.

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school, both came from good families, and both were equally attractive and well spoken.

It was up to the senior partner to choose one, so he took each aside and asked, "Why did you become a lawyer?"

  • Clean Jokes
  • Employment Jokes
  • Money Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes

Read more: Lawyer Choice

Acceptance Pun

football playerA college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action.

A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."

His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said,

"That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"

  • Clean Puns
  • Football Jokes,
  • Student Puns
  • Relationship Jokes
  • Sport Puns

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4576 - August 23, 2020

  Issue #4576  
  logo

 

 
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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

There was no Chicken Thursday mailing last week because my server was under a DOS attack on Wednesday night. In this case DOS stands for Denial of Service. I know it sounds like something that might happen if a pastor was angry with his church or something a mechanic who had worked on your car might say if you accused him of breaking something he wasn't suppose to work on, but it is really just a bunch of computers flooding another computer with so many requests that the people who want to use it can't. You can read more about DOS attacks at:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial-of-service_attack

Anyway, by the time all of that was sorted out, it was late and Grandma Cybersalt and I decided to turn in for the night instead of staying up late and getting the mailing out.

I don't know about you, but "Deciding to turn in for the night" sounds pretty old to me. Maybe we are getting old because today is our 34th wedding anniversary. With that in mind, today's video share is my wedding video. It's a blast from the past and maybe you can figure out why Susan married me - I still can't. Susan starts coming down the aisle at about 7:23 from the beginning.

BTW, for those you you who are more into cars than weddings, skip to near the end for the 1965 Pontiac Bonneville convertible.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

 
 
 

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Today's CleanLaugh

One and Ten

birthday2Elizabeth was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it.

"I'm taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God." the little girl replied. "He'll be just as surprised as I was at not getting a dollar like usual."

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1502

slothThe Five Symptoms of Laziness:

1. 

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Today's Clean Pun

Fashion Amendment

man strongWear sleeveless shirts! Support your right to bare arms!

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Today's Quote

Quote #1940

quote 1940

 "Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that's why life is hard."

- Unknown

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Today's Illustration

Obstacles

boulderIn ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway.

Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.

Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.

After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.

The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand.

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

 
   

One-Liner #1502

slothThe Five Symptoms of Laziness:

1. 

  • One-liners
  • Exercise One-liners
  • Lazy Jokes
  • Medical One-liners
  • Description One-liners
  1. One and Ten
  2. Fashion Amendment
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4575 - August 16, 2020
  4. One-Liner #1501

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4674
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1572

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4674

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4674

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2049

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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