Let us do for a second time what we refused to do at first; this will avoid setting a precedent.
A friend of mine bought a new car that sported an on-board computer.
One Sunday morning when he got into the car to drive to church, the digital display lit up.
Glancing at the readout, he chuckled at the announcement:
"Time for service."
A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, "What do you think we should do?"
The farmer replied with a draw, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I'd feed it."
So the preacher mounted the pulpit and began to preach... and preach ... and preach. After about two hours, he concluded.
Then he stepped down and said to the farmer, "So, what did you think?"
The farmer replied, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I certainly wouldn't try to feed it all the hay."
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Last Sunday I shared a zoomed in picture I took of a snail and when referring to the snail commented, "I spotted this tiny boy or girl snail (I'm sure someone out there can tell the difference so I'm covering my bases.)"
Well, apparently I didn't zoom in far enough (or maybe it was just because the water was cold) because Andr D. kindly emailed and let me know that snails are hermaphrodites. That means they need only look in a mirror when looking for a date.
However, I imagine being both genders is not all fun and games for snails. I wonder if snails:
Of course, I am being ridiculous - as confirmed by the look on Grandma Cybersalt's face when I just read my first draft to her.
But really, why should I have all all the fun or get all the looks? If you have an idea why it's hard for snails to be hermaphrodites, just reply to this email and tell me and I'll share a collection of all the family-friendly submissions.
Speaking of the French (they do enjoy eating snails, you know) I just added a shopping cart to the site of a new client who sells a home school curriculum for learning French. He was having people email him to buy the course and ended up losing a lot of sales because they could not buy it right away when visiting. Anyway, since many of you are spending most of your time staying away from other people, maybe now is a good time to learn how to stay away from them in French! If that sounds interesting, check out the French Essentials website at:
https://frenchessentials.com/
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
9. "Hi, is this the chopstick hotline?"
8. "Okay, I removed the cap -- now what?"
7. "Can I use it to highlight passages in books?"
6. "Is it safe for my kitty's lips?"
5. "Is it true that the Chinese use these instead of forks?"
4. "I like to dress the tubes in tiny little clothes I make. Is this illegal?"
3. "Is it available in a spray?"
2. "I wrote a 22-page poem about Chap Stick. Where do I send it?"
1. "I lost my Chap Stick -- did anyone turn it in?"
This presents us with an insurmountable opportunity.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
"Worship is not a twenty minute period during a church service; it's a lifestyle."
- Unknown
My poor wife was sick in bed with the flu. Being a dutiful husband, I offered to fix her some of her favorite herbal tea. I couldn't find the tea though and went back upstairs to ask where it was.
She said, "I don't know how it could be any easier to see. It's in the pantry, third shelf down, in a cocoa tin marked 'matches'.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
For several weeks, or has it been years, I’ve been waiting for an important package to come through the mail. I don’t know why they call it snail mail because I have seen snails crawl faster.
With all our technology today, you would think that mail could come in on a particular schedule, and I'm thinking of a fast-paced schedule.
I've been going to the mailbox every day for several weeks, and I find a lot of junk mail, but I don't find the mail that I'm looking for. They promised it would arrive between seven and ten days. Of course, they didn't mention what days they would come, nor did they say those days would be consecutive.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
This presents us with an insurmountable opportunity.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
