Entertainment

Sincere apologies to all of you who truly enjoy fruitcake. Unfortunately, it has a reputation and too easily becomes material for jokes like this one...

10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.

9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.

8. Send to U.S. Air Force; let troops drop them.

7. Use as railroad ties.

6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.

5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.

4. Use instead of cement shoes.

3. Save for next summer's garage sale.

2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.

1. Two words: pin cushion.

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

Grandma Cybersalt and I received some Covid Christmas cheer in the mail the other day from my sister. She is a very talented seamstress, in fact I still wear shirts she made for me when I went off to Bible College in 1984! As you'll see in the accompanying picture, this latest gift is something I hope we won't be wearing that long: matching masks, which is something we haven't had since we went to a Halloween party dressed as brother and sister racoons.

Speaking of Grandma Cybersalt, here in our province, we are not allowed to go into a house we don't live in until at least January 8, 2021. So Susan went shopping yesterday for  some of our regular groceries and a special intimate purchase - a turkey roll for our upcoming Christmas dinner were we will be the only people dining. The price of the turkey roll she picked out was $19.00, which is more than Susan would ever pay for such an item, but in the spirit of celebration was still a purchase she could make with her heart. That is until she noticed she could get a whole turkey for $18.00.

You guessed it, on Christmas Eve (the traditional day we have our big Christmas meal) we will be sitting down to a full turkey dinner for two, for three or four days. We aren't allowed to travel anywhere this Christmas, but we will be definitely be experiencing some tryptophan.

Which brings me to my video share for today. I do a lot of my web work very late, and night and well into the early hours of the morning. I have been struggling to find Christmas music that can deliver a proper balance of festive entertainment while still blending into the background and not being a distraction. A few nights ago I came across this video, entitled, "Ambient Instrumental Christmas Music with Winter Scenery." I found it so enjoyable as it played that I thought to myself, "I have to take at least one nap during the holidays with this playing in the background."

And now that I know I am responsible for eating half a turkey, I'm pretty confident I will be able to execute that plan to perfection.

You can watch the video by clicking here.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

57 Elm Street Bethlehem, Pa.
11:51 p.m., December 24th.

"We're too late!  It's already been here."

"Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing."

"Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care."

"You really think someone's been here?"

"Someone, or something."

"Mulder, over here--it's a fruitcake."

"Don't touch it!  Those things can be lethal."

"It's O.K.  There's a note attached: 'Gonna find out who's naughty and nice.'"

"It's judging them, Scully.  It's making a list."

"Who?  What are you talking about?"

"Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants.  Once a year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite."

"But that's legend, Mulder--a story told by parents to frighten children.  Surely you don't believe it?"

"Something was here tonight, Scully.  Check out the bite marks on this gingerbread man.  Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was alive--and in a hurry."

"It left crumbs everywhere.  And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been completely drained."

"It gorged itself, Scully.  It fed without remorse."

"But why would they leave it milk and cookies?"

"Appeasement.  Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wilding."

"But if this thing does exist, how did it get in?  The doors and windows were locked.  There's no sign of forced entry."

"Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace."

"Wait a minute, Mulder.  If you're saying some huge creature landed on the roof and came down this chimney, you're crazy.  The flue is barely six inches wide.  Nothing could get down there."

"But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions at once?"

"You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?"

"Exactly.  Scully, I've never told anyone this, but when I was a child my home was visited.  I saw the creature.  It had long white shanks of fur surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head.  Its bloated torso was red and white.  I'll never forget the horror.  I turned away, and when I looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features of my father."

"Impossible."

"I know what I saw.  And that night it read my mind.  It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully.  It knew that I wanted a Mr. Potato Head!"

"I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to disregard the laws of physics.  You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys.  Listen to what you're saying.  Do you understand the repercussions?  If this gets out, they'll close the X-files."

"Scully, listen to me: It knows when you're sleeping.  It knows when you're awake."

"But we have no proof."

"Last year, on this exact date, SETI radio telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven states.  The White House ordered a condition Red."

"But that was a meteor shower."

"Officially.  Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished from the National Zoo, in Washington, D.C.  Nobody--not even the zookeeper--was told about it.  The government doesn't want people to know about Project Kringle.  They fear that if this thing is proved to exist the public will stop spending half its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy.  Retail markets will collapse.  Scully, they cannot let the world believe this creature lives.  There's too much at stake. They'll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night."

"Mulder, I--"

"Sh-h-h.  Do you hear what I hear?"

"On the roof.  It sounds like ...  a clatter."

"The truth is up there.  Let's see what's the matter."

The first Christmas was pretty simple ... it's okay if yours is too.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

The weatherman describes this as unseasonable weather.

Of course its unseasoned -- that's why the city maintenance crew put salt on it.

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love."

- Hamilton Wright Mabi

Here are some signs seen around Christmas time.

Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."

Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."

At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd."

A Texas jewelery store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000. Three for $200,000."

A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."

In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything: A calendar to remind him when payments are due."

Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I have been trying lately to remember my first Christmas. I know my memory isn't perfect, but I thought maybe I could bring up some old memories of my first Christmas.

Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a thing about that first Christmas of mine. Of course, it might be that I was only five months old at the time. Still, I tried to remember some of those old Christmases in the past.

Down through the years, I have celebrated more Christmases than I want to let on. It's not that I'm old; I just haven't died yet.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

The first Christmas was pretty simple ... it's okay if yours is too.

The weatherman describes this as unseasonable weather.

Of course its unseasoned -- that's why the city maintenance crew put salt on it.