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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4608 - December 27, 2020

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest


Cybersalt News

december calendar 2020Sunday greetings everyone!

There are only 5 days left in 2020 and in that short time I have a number of pre-New Year's goals to accomplish. They are:

  • End the year with a zero inbox for emails received in 2020. I'm close on this one - but it is still going to take a concentrated effort.
  • Empty the "toss it in this box and do it later" box that has been sitting on the floor of my office. I thought it was left over from when I closed my office at the church in October of 2017, but my wife reminded me it existed for years before that. It still seems to me it has only been 3 years, but I'm taking her word for it because that thing is practically invisible to me and I sure she has a better eye for spotting my messes because she lives with them. Fortunately for me, that seems to be an ability she developed after we were married. I think constantly gazing at me in admiration while were were dating and then engaged was a helpful distraction in this area.
  • Go to bed New Year's Eve with a clean desk. This one is a 5 minute tidy away from completion after Grandma Cybersalt took a couple of hours and help me tackle it last weekend.
  • Finish up a bit of work for clients that I am super behind in. I think I can make a good dent in this one, but business is growing and I just incorporated so there is a bunch of fiddly paperwork and setting up I have to tackle this week as I wrap up being a sole proprietor. (Technically, even when I was a sole proprietor I was already limited to a degree.)
  • Be kind to myself. It's the last week of a very tough year so I'm going to cut myself some slack in having to reach my goals. Stressing about reaching them will only make them harder to attain. Accomplishing and celebrating steps along the way is a much greater motivator for me.

This week's video share is actually a playlist for the first season of "The Chosen."

Last Thursday's video share about the shepherds in Bethlehem was actually the unintentional pilot for this series. The shepherd video was made for a church by Dallas Jenkins following the biggest failure of his directing career, but it went viral and that lead to this amazing series.

Click here to find the playlist on YouTube.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim



Winter House

cold houseWe purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters.

Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation.

"If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.

"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."



One-Liner #1534

man rethinkWhen I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

- Rodney Dangerfield



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Edge-Wise Words

woman secretDid you hear about the self-help group for compulsive talkers?

Its called On & On Anon.



Quote #1972

quote 1972

"Be good to people. You will be remembered more for your kindness than any level of success you could possibly attain."

- Mandy Hale



Hope

phone number buttonsThe coach's wife yells to her husband, "It's Sports Illustrated on the phone."

The coach falls all over himself racing to the phone and says, "Hello?"

Then he hears, "For just $20 a year..."


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Another Christmas Tree in the Bag

christmas forestIt's hard to believe, but another Christmas has come and gone. It comes so slow but leaves so fast. I guess I'll never understand that. This Christmas was probably the most unusual that I have ever experienced.

When I was young, I remember those first Christmases; they were so slow in getting here. I think for the week leading up to Christmas, every day gained at least 10 new hours. By the time Christmas Eve arrived, I was so worn out waiting that I didn't know what to do. 

I can't remember my first Christmas because I was only five months old at the time. I have a hard time remembering those early Christmases, but I'm sure they were times of fun and merriment. There were no cell phones at that time and so I have no selfies to show.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

One-Liner #1534

man rethinkWhen I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

- Rodney Dangerfield

  • One-liners
  • Family One-liners
  • Childhood One-liners
  • Parenting One-liners

Edge-Wise Words

woman secretDid you hear about the self-help group for compulsive talkers?

Its called On & On Anon.

  • Clean Puns
  • word jokes
  • Speech Jokes
  • Self-Help Jokes

Winter House

cold houseWe purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters.

Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation.

"If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.

"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

  • Clean Jokes
  • Marriage Jokes
  • Home Owner Jokes
  • Winter Jokes

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4607 - December 24, 2020

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest


Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday and Christmas Eve!

Chicken Christmas Tree TopperFor the majority of the Christmases since Cybersalt began back in 1998, I have sat down to pen a Christmas Eve message to send out to Cybersaltines, wishing them (you) a merry Christmas, while also expressing an awareness each year that for some, Christmas would be hard. Some of those years I was a member of that "some."

This year, we are all members.

Make no mistake, this Christmas was already going to be hard for many because of the usual pain that military service, prison terms, estrangement, sickness and/or death brings. But the pandemic has also cast a grey pall and a weight on us all. Like a sweater worn into a lake, what used to be light is heavy, what was heavy is heavier, and what used to be almost unbearable has become denser, threatening even more to take us down.

In these heavier times, may the message of the angels on that first Christmas night still comfort us, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord."

And, wherever we are and whatever the weight of our burden this Christmas, let's respond to that message just as the shepherds who first heard it. Luke tells us they "hurried off" and found Jesus.

The pilot for "The Chosen" demonstrates this truth wonderfully, and you can watch that by clicking here.

A blessed and Spirit-filled Christmas to all of you!

~ Pastor Tim



Nativity Quiz

christmas nativity 2A minister is visiting his children to celebrate Christmas. When he walks into the house, he sees a beautiful nativity set.

His granddaughter walks up to him, and he asks her if she knows what it is.

She replies, "Yes... it's breakable."



One-Liner #1533

advent calendarNot saying I live in a rough area, but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up!



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Christmas Assault

carolersAggressive Carolers: Wassailants



Quote #1971

quote 1971

"Some Christmas tree ornaments do more than glitter and glow; they represent a gift of love given a long time ago."

- Tom Baker



Christmas Gift Revelation

picture of church crecheIn his book Dare to Believe, Dan Baumann illustrates the unique experience of knowing that something is ours, yet longing to enjoy it more fully. He explained that at Christmas time he would always do a lot of snooping, trying to find the gift-wrapped presents and figure out what was in them.

One year he discovered a package with his name on it that was easy to identify. There was no way to disguise the golf clubs inside. Baumann then made this observation: "When Mom wasn't around, I would go and feel the package, shake it, and pretend that I was on the golf course. The point is, I was already enjoying the pleasures of a future event; namely, the unveiling. It had my name on it. I knew what it was." But only "Christmas would reveal it in its fullness."

The glories that await the Christian defy our comprehension. What we can grasp about them, however, fills us with great anticipation. We look longingly to that day when we shall enjoy heaven in all its fullness.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

  1. Mall Search
  2. Last Minute Barbie
  3. Christmas Assault
  4. One-Liner #1533

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4691
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1572

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4691

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1995

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4691

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2049

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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