After a recent college basketball game, the coach spotted a cell phone lying on the floor. He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying, "Here's your phone."
"What makes you think its mine?" the ref asked.
"Easy," the coach replied. "It says you missed 13 calls!"
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Sunday greetings everyone and Happy New Year!
I am happy to report that I did finally catch up on my "throw it in the box for later" box (Grandma Cybersalt now has it for taking things to charity), manage every email I received in 2020, and have a clear desk before the end of the year. I took this picture of my work area on January 1st, all ready to keep on keeping up and catching up on more now that the clutter isn't sucking the motivation out of my mind.
Now that the new year is here I've started doing something I did many years ago: skipping rope. Of course I'm doing so in response to my high cholesterol results.
Wow, am I ever out of shape! Last night I did my jumping just before getting ready for bed, however after only 74 jumps I ended up having to rest before I could do so. Tonight I am getting ready for bed first and then I'll exercise. In England I think this is called skipping after the loo!
Today's video share is a performance of that familiar New Year's tune, "Auld Land Syne." It's sung by a group I have been really enjoying listening to online: The Choral Scholars of University College of Dublin.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz.
Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window.
"Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
One of the hardest decisions in life is when to start middle age.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.
"My wish for the New Year -
That you have someone to love,
have meaningful work to do,
and have things greater than yourself to believe in;
that you have a reason to smile every day
and a shoulder to cry on when you need it;
that you keep your integrity even when the choices are hard;
that you love deeply, give freely,
forgive willingly, laugh easily,
and live well enough to be grateful for every day."
- Margaret B. Moss
A few years back, I had my old 45 RPM records out to look through and my daughter asked what they were. I explained that back in the 1960s before CDs were invented, this was how we listened to music. I further explained how all the bands issued singles on these "45s," and radio stations would rate the top 40 songs every week.
She was quite impressed as I continued describing how one used a phonograph to play them.
I burst out laughing when she asked -- perfectly straight faced -- "Daddy, how many megs of RAM does one of these hold?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
It is not that I am colorblind; I just am color indifferent. Red and blue and yellow are all the same to me.
This, on many occasions, has challenged the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, who is very meticulous when it comes to describing anything or anyone.
In remodeling my office at the parsonage my wife asked, “What color would you like the walls to be painted?”
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
One of the hardest decisions in life is when to start middle age.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz.
Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window.
"Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
