Some say fleas are black.
But I know that is not so.
'Cause Mary had a little lamb
With fleas as white as snow.
~ Richard Lederer and James Ertner
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone.
We got to spend some time with our son this past week as he installed some baseboards at Cybersalt World Headquarters. You may remember that back in the fall he also did the flooring upstairs. Grandma Cybersalt and I thought we could do the baseboards ourselves, but we let wisdom prevail and asked him to do it.
He did a really great job! He really won the day in some tricky areas with some precise craftsmanship that I would never have been able to pull off. Susan is thrilled, which means I am doubly happy with the results!
Today's video share is about some workers who have an incredibly hard and dangerous job. It really puts many of life's hardships and trials in perspective - which is always an opportunity for gratefulness. Surviving day to day life is such a hard thing for so many people!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "All right, listen up you heathens..."
6. He falls asleep during his own sermon.
5. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top.
4. Every time his smartphone notifications ding, he shouts, "Why can't they just leave me alone?!"
3. Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon.
2. You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him and he says, "Sounds like a personal problem to me."
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR PASTOR NEEDS A VACATION
1. For the past two months he has preached the same sermon every Sunday.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older ... this is not what I expected.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
"I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but he turned out to be an optical Aleutian."
"Christianity does not provide the reason for each experience of pain, but it does provide deep resources for actually facing suffering with hope and courage rather than bitterness and despair."
- Timothy Keller
An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada.
Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town. The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite hospitable, so they knocked on the door to ask permission to rest.
No one answered their knocks, but they discovered the cabin was unlocked and they entered. It was a simple place ... 2 rooms with a minimum of furniture and household equipment. Nothing was unusual about the cabin except the stove. It was large, pot-bellied, and made of cast-iron. What was strange about it was its location ... it was suspended in midair by wires attached to the ceiling beams.
"Fascinating," said the psychologist. "It is obvious that this lonely trapper, isolated from humanity, has elevated this stove so that he can curl up under it and vicariously experience a return to the womb."
"Nonsense!" replied the engineer. "The man is practicing the laws of thermodynamics. By elevating his stove, he has discovered a way to distribute heat more evenly throughout the cabin."
"With all due respect," interrupted the theologian, "I'm sure that hanging his stove from the ceiling has religious meaning. Fire LIFTED UP has been a religious symbol for centuries."
The three debated the point for several hours without resolving the issue. When the trapper finally returned, they immediately asked him why he had hung his heavy pot-bellied stove from the ceiling.
His answer was succinct. "Had plenty of wire, not much stove pipe."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
When it comes to vegetables, I am no connoisseur at all. The only vegetable I really like is carrot cake. According to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, that is not a vegetable.
We often discuss vegetables, and she has brought to me a lot of proof that carrot cake is not a vegetable.
"Why then," I argue, "do they use the word carrot when they talk about this particular cake."
She will then stare at me, one of her vicious stares by which I get the message.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older ... this is not what I expected.
7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "All right, listen up you heathens..."
6. He falls asleep during his own sermon.
5. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top.
4. Every time his smartphone notifications ding, he shouts, "Why can't they just leave me alone?!"
3. Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon.
2. You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him and he says, "Sounds like a personal problem to me."
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR PASTOR NEEDS A VACATION
1. For the past two months he has preached the same sermon every Sunday.
"I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but he turned out to be an optical Aleutian."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
