Frank hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown."
"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don't look so great in blue, either!"
A young man drove his mini-bike in to a gas station and dismounted.
"I'll need about a pint of gas," he said to the attendant, "and a few ounces of oil for the motor."
"Certainly sir," the attendant said, "And would you also like me to cough into your tires?"
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday Greetings everyone.
Today's video share is "No Words."
Here is the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship folders. Some churches which use the same basic format each week can simply call up the form on the computer screen, make a few necessary changes, and presto, it's done.
But it can be tricky.
In one church I know, they use the same format for funeral services. And when a person dies and a funeral service is prepared, the secretary simply uses the word-search-and-replace process and changes the name of the deceased from the previous service to the name of the deceased who has just passed away.
Very simple.
So when Edna died, the pastor instructed the secretary to prepare the service for her by following the above mentioned process. The last person who died was Mary. So the secretary instructed the computer to change all "Marys" to Ednas." And so it was.
Image the surprise of the attendees when they recited the Apostles Creed and read:
"He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Edna..."
I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Consider, if you will, the case of the awkward bumble-bee who became ill while gathering pollen but continued to work.
Unfortunately, he thus infected all the flowers with his virus.
The consequences are recorded in the annals of horticulture as . . . the blight of the fumble bee.
"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."
- C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years.
Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man.
After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?"
"Well, that's my house there."
"What's that next hut?" asks the sailor.
"I built that hut to be my church."
"What about the other hut?"
"Oh, that's where I used to go to church."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I read somewhere where the average woman speaks 20,000 words a day, and the average man speaks 7,000 words a day. I’m not sure if that’s true because I never believe everything I read, particularly on my computer, unless I write it.
If this is true, who came up with it and how did they get to this conclusion?
I can’t remember any day in my life when I spoke 7,000 words. At least out loud. I probably thought that many words, but they didn’t all touch my tongue.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship folders. Some churches which use the same basic format each week can simply call up the form on the computer screen, make a few necessary changes, and presto, it's done.
But it can be tricky.
In one church I know, they use the same format for funeral services. And when a person dies and a funeral service is prepared, the secretary simply uses the word-search-and-replace process and changes the name of the deceased from the previous service to the name of the deceased who has just passed away.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
