We rode a tandem bicycle
My darling Ruth and me
We hit a bump
I heard a thump
And rode on Ruthlessly…
If you like this pun, you may also like this one.
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.
Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
It's weird that I trust my left hand to drive but not to eat cereal.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I'm happy to report more good news about my right arm!
On Monday I met with the surgeon, and she told me there is no need for surgery and no need for a cast. She also told me to stop using the sling — apparently if I kept it up, my arm might never fully straighten out again. As I try to do with my doctors, I took her advice.
I can report that just days later there has been a noticeable improvement in my ability to use my right arm. There is still quite a bit of pain — apparently there are other things in there that got stretched or possibly torn in the fall — but I am genuinely grateful that things are mending, and I'm looking forward to things getting better and better.
Thank you so much for all of your prayers. God is definitely at work through this and in this!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards (or is it 52 cards = 1 deck-a-cards?)
1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
10 rations = 1 decoration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3-1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
10 monologs = 5 dialogues
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickles = 2 paradigms
FOUND: If you lost a wad of $20s wrapped in a rubber band, I found your rubber band.
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.
I turned to a local tribesman and said, "That lizard is really funny."
The tribesman replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand up chameleon."
“The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.”
- Stephen Hawking
A farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. He is asked what he is going to do with all the money.
"Oh, I guess the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills."
"And what about the rest?" the reporter asks.
The Farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess they'll just have to wait."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
We’ve all had those days. Days when our world doesn’t seem very wonderful.
Starting the day by watching the morning news can be discouraging. Additionally, there are traffic jams, work pressures, relationship stresses and various other frustrations that arise.
What if we hit the replay button and choose to begin each day with Good News?
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
FOUND: If you lost a wad of $20s wrapped in a rubber band, I found your rubber band.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
