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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt and my travels are going well. Right now she is in Portland Oregon at a conference while I am still in Ontario wrapping up with more time with my parents. Your prayers are appreciated.
Today's video is exactly what you would expect to get if you gathered a lot of people together who have funny laughs: Funny Laughter!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Show and Tell
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and some 'guaranteed entertainment' Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very out-going kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother ... and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. Ohhhhhhh. "She walked around the house for ... like an hour, "Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid is doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning.
"My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my mother to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed ... like psshhheew!" The kid has her legs spread and with her little hands is miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
One-Liner #1693
Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her … or something like that.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Food Math
"Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!"
Quote #2130
"If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
News
The shipwrecked sailor had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "With the captain's compliments. He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
"Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!"
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
A farmer called his pig Ball Point.
"Even in the trials of life, if we have eyes to see them, we can find good things everywhere we look."
Can a Vicar ever win?
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 