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Entertainment

Haiku Error Messages

computer man laptopSony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio.

Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said,

"We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."

The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:

  • Computer Jokes
  • Communication Jokes

Read more: Haiku Error Messages

One-Liner #2004

A young man with dark hair against a brown background, looking off to the side with his hand covering his chin.It's like my mom always told me ... "You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die."

  • One-liners
  • Parenting One-liners
  • Saying One-liners
  • Description One-liners

Farmer Comeback

cowA wise old farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. When the salesman handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer exclaimed, "This isn't the price I saw!"

The salesman went on to tell the farmer how he was getting extras such as power brakes, power windows, special tires etc. and that was what raised the price up. The farmer needed the truck badly, paid the price and went home.

A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, "My son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for sale?"

  • Pearly Gates Jokes
  • Farming Jokes
  • Car Jokes
  • Salesman Jokes

Read more: Farmer Comeback

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #5790 - March 1, 2026

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

Today is an exciting day at Cybersalt World Headquarters as another science experiment comes to an end — namely, seeing if I could keep myself alive for a full week on my own.

Tomorrow afternoon, I get to head to the airport to pick up Grandma Cybersalt, who has been back east helping care for our grandson while his parents were on a mission trip. I was there for the first part of that visit, but after spending time with my parents, I flew home to work and keep things running here.

I’m actually quite proud of myself. I’ve put a lot of effort into keeping the house clean instead of being lazy and leaving a huge mess to deal with at the last minute while rushing out the door for the airport. So, good news all around!

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 



The English Language

An open book in the palm of a hand with letters and colors above it like a magical cloud.Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What on earth does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.



One-Liner #2003

A green, brown and yellow chameleon hugging a horizontal log with no bark on it.I saw a chameleon today, so I guess it was a pretty bad chameleon.




The Chilling Truth

A middle-aged man with brown hair, small glasses, looking somber.Justice is a dish best served cold.

If it were served warm, it would be justwater.



Quote #2439

socrates"When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers."

- Socrates



52 Bible Verses for Men Week 5 : Sober Mind - Song

Hello friends,

Week 5If you've been following along, you already know I'm trying to write a song every week. And let me just say — this is not a small task. I may be losing a little sleep over it, but I'm honestly very excited. There's something special about digging into Scripture and letting it shape a song.

Read more


Investigation

Black and white cat with white 'socks.'A woman had a beautiful black cat with white feet, named Socks. Socks spent his days outside and came indoors only at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared.

She searched for him high and low for several days, but all in vain. The following spring, however, Socks reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he'd just been out sowing his wild oats, and let it go at that.

Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Socks once again disappeared. The next spring, just as the prior year, he returned.

When it happened for the third year in a row, she became very perplexed, and decided to investigate. She started by asking her neighbors to see what, if any, information they might have.

She was down to the last house on the block, the home of an older couple. If they didn't have the answer, she wasn't sure where she would turn. So she went up and knocked on the door.

The lady of the house answered, and she asked her, "By any chance, have you ever seen a black cat with 4 white feet around here?"

"A black cat?" the woman said. "With 4 white feet? Oh my, yes! He's the sweetest thing. My husband and I kept seeing him outside every fall. We hated it that the poor thing had to be out in the cold, so we decided that when we go south for the winter, we'd take him with us. He's been going to Florida with us every winter for the last few years."


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Peek-a-boo, I See You

A woman looking through a small hole in a piece of paper that looks like the eye of a winking face mask.One of the most valuable gifts in life is the ability to see. I cannot imagine a day I cannot see.

I was having some trouble with my eyes about four years ago, and I had to go to my eye doctor and have cataracts removed from both my eyes. Before I had the surgery, I was really having a hard time seeing things. It wasn't easy to read or work on my computer.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

The Chilling Truth

A middle-aged man with brown hair, small glasses, looking somber.Justice is a dish best served cold.

If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

  • Clean Puns
  • Saying Puns
  1. One-Liner #2003
  2. The English Language
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #5789 - February 26, 2026
  4. My Brain 🐉

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4633
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4633

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4633

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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