Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.
For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring; but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting!
My sweet wife got me a simple metal bracelet with the first initials of our kids on it.
Now I lay on the side of the road, paramedics working on me, as I silently think about Donna, Nick, and Rachel.
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt is back! I picked her up from the airport on Monday, and she was very happy to trade winter weather for Victoria's spring. As mentioned before, I worked hard to keep the house tidy while she was away, and I think I succeeded — when she walked in, she looked around and asked, "Does anyone live here?" I'll take that as a win! Now I just have to brace myself for when she sees my nine day hotel bill on the next credit card statement.
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio.
Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said,
"We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."
The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:
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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
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Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
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A crash reduces
your expensive computer to
a simple stone.
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred.
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You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
It's like my mom always told me ... "You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die."
I once asked a girl on a date and she said I had a face like the back of a boat.
I didn't reply but I gave her a stern look.
"Do you remember, before the internet, that it was thought that the cause of collective stupidity was the lack of access to information? Well ... it wasn't that."
- Douglas Adams
“Even though I walk through the valley…”
This week centers on a short but powerful verse: *“Cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you”* (1 Peter 5:7). At first, it may seem too brief to build a full message around. But in reality, this single line captures the heart of God’s relationship with us.
When we think about what it means to “cast” our anxieties, it means to let go completely—to place our worries, fears, and burdens into God’s hands. And the reason we can do that with confidence is simple: He truly cares for us.
Read more
"Oh, No!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know.
He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded.
Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly.
"Danny! Danny!" he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten.
He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away.
In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "Danny!".
From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard.
"It's time to get up and get ready for school," the man sighed, "and, for heaven's sake, clean up this room."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from their earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:9).
With the passing of time, I’ve come to realize why it’s so important to choose our friends wisely. This truth resonates on a much deeper level after the loss of a few dear friends. God in His goodness has graciously given me the gift of a handful of cherished friends. These beloved individuals have enabled me, by God’s grace, to become a better person. These special few allow me to be myself, while also encouraging me to be more like Christ.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I once asked a girl on a date and she said I had a face like the back of a boat.
I didn't reply but I gave her a stern look.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
