If I had a dollar for every time algebra has helped me in real life, I'd have x dollars.
I read that giraffes can grow up to 18 feet.
The ones I've seen only have four.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Even with one of my granddaughters sitting beside me, I have to admit that watching the Artemis II rocket lift off yesterday made me feel like a little boy again.
I know the technology inside this latest generation of rockets is vastly different from the ones they launched when I was a young boy — back in the late '60s and '70s — but it didn't matter. There is just something about a big old rocket firing up and heading for the Moon that does a heart good.
Hats off to those four astronauts for the confidence and bravery it takes to strap themselves into a capsule perched on top of all that explosive power. I'm excited to watch how things unfold over the next ten days, and I'm fully expecting a few more moments of boyish wonder as they travel out to and back from the Moon.
As a fun little bonus: NASA offered people the chance to submit their names to be included on a memory disk aboard the rocket. I took them up on that. So while those four brave souls become the farthest humans from Earth in history, my name will be along for the ride — one among 5,647,889 others. More boyish fun, indeed!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer.
He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought.
Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer.
The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens."
The new chicken farmer was thrilled.
Two weeks later the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going.
The new farmer said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died."
The neighbor said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more."
Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again.
The new farmer says, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too."
Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What went wrong? What did you do to them?"
Well, says the new farmer, "I'm not sure whether I'm planting them too deep or not far enough apart."
People's IQs should be presented like the weather:
Actual IQ: 97
Feels like: 72
I just accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
"Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes, and a week's worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas."
- Lessons from the Minivan
Writing a song for each of the 52 bible verses published in Samuel Deuth's book "52 Bible Verses for Men"
Jesus: Follow me
Many of Us: How about I go to a building once a week for a couple of hours and we call it good?
Jesus: Huh?
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
In the garden, lonesome in grief
His soul came begging sweet relief
Blood-soaked tears poured down like rain,
soaking the path of heart-seared pain
His friends were close, yet could not be
companions in prayer, upon their knees
Betrayed by those He held so dear
Would God, His Father, calm His fear
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I just accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer.
He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought.
Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer.
The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
