Entertainment

When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting point for answering questions about the facts of life.

As her five-year-old studied the baby coming out of the birth canal, he asked, "Mom, does that hurt?"

"Oh, yes, it does," she said, remembering her difficult deliveries.

"Wow," he continued in awe, "does it hurt the mother too?"

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.  The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady is furious!  She stormed past the store to her work.  On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

She was incredibly ticked now.

The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and get rid the bird.  The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."

She paused and said, "Yes?"

The bird said, "You know."

A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood who said, "I'm collecting donations for the new children's home we're building. I hope you'll give what you can."

"To be sure," said the beleaguered woman, "I'll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each."

There were two evil brothers.  They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye.  They even attended the same church and looked to be perfect Christians.

Then, their pastor retired and a new one was hired.  Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers.  A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly.

All of a sudden, one of the brothers died.  The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building.

"I have only one condition," he said.  "At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint." The pastor gave his word and deposited the check.

The next day at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back.  "He was an evil man," he said.  "He cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with:

"But, compared to his brother, he was a saint."