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The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine.  These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D.  dissertation or academic paper anywhere!

• "It has long been known"...  I didn't look up the original reference.
  
• "A definite trend is evident"...  These data are practically meaningless.
  
• "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"...  An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
  
• "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"...  The other results didn't make any sense.
  
• "Typical results are shown"...  This is the prettiest graph.
  
• "These results will be in a subsequent report"...  I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
  
• "In my experience"...  once "In case after case"...  twice "In a series of cases"...  thrice "It is believed that"...  I think.
  
• "It is generally believed that"...  A couple of others think so, too.
  
• "Correct within an order of magnitude"...  Wrong.
  
• "According to statistical analysis"...  Rumor has it.
  
• "A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings"...  A wild guess.
  
• "A careful analysis of obtainable data"...  Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
  
• "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"...  I don't understand it.
  
• "After additional study by my colleagues"...  They don't understand it either.
  
• "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions"...  Mr.  Blotz did the work and Ms.  Adams explained to me what it meant.
  
• "A highly significant area for exploratory study"...  A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
  
• "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field"...  I quit.

We moved into an apartment while we were looking for a place that would let us keep our pets. We could not have our pets at our apartment, so my brother-in-law kept our cat for us until we could find a place that would let us keep him.

One day he came home after dark and saw the cat on the porch eating. He reached down to pet him and while he was petting him he looked over toward the fence where he saw MY cat sitting. Looking back around to see what he was petting he realized that it was a raccoon that had came up to eat the cat food. After that the cat was fed in the house.

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.  "When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began.

"You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.

"I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued.

"The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him.

"Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on.

"That would be the usher," Charlie explained.

"Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said.

"You mean the aisle," Charlie said.

"Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued.

"Pew," Charlie retorted.

"Yeah," recalled Joe.  "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 PM for 20 cents.

I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $3.50.

Then my wife's father died and left us ten million dollars."