A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.
After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.
Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"120," the woman says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 150.
The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 feet, 8 inches," she says. The nurse checks and sees that she measures only 5 feet, 5 inches.
She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams. "When I came in here, I was tall and slender, and now I'm short and fat!"
Cybersalt's online support voicemail is handled by Skype and the wonderful program SkyLook.
Skylook marries Skype and Microsoft Outlook - providing an answering machine for Skype AND the opportunity to record online meetings and conversations in MP3 format.
You don't need Microsoft Outlook or Skylook to leave a message on the Cybersalt Voicemail, but you do need to use Skype. However, don't despair as Skype is totally free, user friendly software that you can use for computer to computer calls over the net. AND, if you want to use it to call land-line phones from your computer, you can buy a phone card for that too (the rates are great). Remember, computer to computer calls (like your call to the Cybersalt Voicemail) are always free. You can download Skype by clicking on the banner below.
One more note about the Cybersalt Voicemail - if your need is urgent, it is better to drop us an e-mail as that get's quicker attention than voicemail. But please do leave a voicemail with any questions or feedback you have about any of the Cybersalt sites or just feel free to just say "Hi" if you like.
BTW, your message may be included on one of the Cybersalt Sites for educational, inspirational, or entertainment purposes - so please make sure you are dressed well when you leave your message.
Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!
Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.
Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.
Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning "tone deaf".
Opera: Where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it.
Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.
"Normal": A setting on a washing machine.
Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.
Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.
Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.
Witlag: The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.
Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.
* Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.
* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the picture.
* Don't worry, it's not used any more.
* Listen, I'm taking a course in chemistry, I know what I'm doing.
* Yes of course the elastic is strong enough.
* I wonder what happens if these two wires touch.
* I thought it tasted rather strange.
* You have driven this before, haven't you?
* And that one over there, the red flashing one, what does that mean?
* It's OK, I saw them do it on TV.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
