With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.
What did the mama buffalo say to the son buffalo when he went off to college?
"Bison."
Passing an office building late one night, a Goober saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."
She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.
The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
"Well," he snarled at the Goober, "what do you want?"
"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it for yourself."
Due to inflation you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings, everyone!
I turned 58 yesterday. It was a wonderful day of celebrating with Grandma Cybersalt, our 3 kids and two of their spouses (Alyssa's husband Matt is away on a one month military reserves course) and our 6 grandchildren. We all sat down at the same table (two tables put end to end) and enjoyed Kentucky Fried Chicken and Dairy Queen ice cream cake (I hope to make it to 59!)
Today's video share is fun look at some fails that have happened in church services!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
TRUE STORY!!!!
It Does Take a Rocket Scientist
Scientists at NASA developed a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airlines, military jets, and the space shuttle. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl and to test the strength of the windshields in collisions at maximum velocity.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Appropriate intergovernmental arrangements were made and the gun was shipped to England.
jokes
But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chickens hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.
Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and asked the U.S. scientists for suggestions.
NASA's response was just one sentence: "Thaw the chicken!"
Deep thought of the day:
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
A little boy from Minneapolis came home from Sunday school with a frown on his face.
"I'm not going back there anymore," he announced with finality. "I don't like the Bible they keep teaching us."
"Why not?" asked his astonished mother.
"Because," said the little boy, "that Bible is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis."
If you're a giver, remember to learn your limits - because takers don't have any.
- Unknown
Walking through a rough part of the city one night, two social workers heard moans and groans and muted cries for help coming from an alley. Walking toward the sound, they found a semi-conscious man.
"Help me!" he said weakly. "I've been mugged and viciously beaten!"
The two social workers stared at him for a moment then walked back out of the alley.
One turned to the other and said, "You know, the person who did that really could use some help!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Our second great grand baby was born at the end of last year. Since then, it has been a delight to watch her grow.
I will not say she is the cutest baby in the world, but I haven't met any cuter. She was born cute, and I'm not sure what part of the family she got that from.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
