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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3671 - June 20, 2011

The Cybersalt Digest

Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:

Save Up to 20% Off + Free Shipping on Select Patio Furniture - Valid 3/27-5/14/11

Cybersalt News

Usually the trailer goes under the boat. What a sneaky scamp!
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/scamp-trailer-boat

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.


Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Surgery Headache"

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of
a headache.

Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."


Today's CleanPun

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!


Today's One Liner

"I stayed in a really old hotel last night - they sent me a wake-up letter."


Today's CleanQuote

"It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser."


Today's Illustration - "Just Name the Fee"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table.

Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved the man's life.

As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services.

"Just name the fee," he croaked gratefully.

"Okay," replied the doctor. "How about half of what you'd have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?"


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Surgery Headache

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.

Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."

Scamp Trailer Boat

Usually the trailer goes under the boat.

Funny Pictures of Scamp Trailer House Boat Float

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3670 - June 19, 2011

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone. Enjoy today's digest.


Here is today's CleanLaugh - "You Might be a Pastor If…"

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

You Might be a Pastor If...

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).

 

  1. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3669 - June 18, 2011
  2. My Kind of Exercise
  3. School Excuse
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3668 - June 17, 2011

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3594

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4860
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1572

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4860

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3118

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2943

Clean Puns Article Count:  1920

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4860

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2061

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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