Entertainment

While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. 

By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened.

The teller took my friend's check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. 

After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.

"Why not?" my friend asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, sir," she replied, "but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount.  As a matter of fact," she continued, "our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000."

"It can't be!" he cried.  "You have to be kidding!"

"Yes, I am," she answered with a smile, counting out his cash.

"But you will notice that your hiccups are gone."

Here's a cool little application that lets you draw things that squiggle and crawl. If your small intestine had a traffic helicopter that reported on the flow of parasites and hittites to and from their work place, I think it would look something like this. It even has an x-ray mode.   Don't be afraid, though.  Remember parasites are our pals!

The whole thing reminds me of a medical test I had once.  They took this camera and . . . . never mind. 

 

Rules for Stray Cats

1.  Stray cats will not be fed.

2.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5.  Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6.  Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7.  Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8.  Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times.

10.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y".

11.  Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12.  Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13.  Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen claws on new .99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17.  Stray cats will sleep outside.

18.  Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19.  Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20.  Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21.  Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers, except at the foot.

26.  Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27.  Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.

28.  Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb USING IT.