Entertainment

For years they've been telling us to not spread viruses.  Wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough, and whatever you do, don't let the dog lick your face.

I've figured out the reason for this zealousness - spreading viruses can be alot of fun!  Take this game for example.  It's probably not supported by the Center for Disease Control, and I'm sure it's not supported by the center for fun control, but it earns the Cybersalt stamp of approval.

I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. 

Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead.

"Ah," he sighed that must he her checking out now."

An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. 

The lawyer thundered at him, "Have you ever been married?"

"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice.  "Once."

"Whom did you marry?"

"Well, a woman."

The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman.  Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"

The witness said meekly, "My sister did!"

A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.

Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.

The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!"

The congregation inhaled half the air in the room.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"