Entertainment

One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an overnight stay. 

It was late, there was very little traffic, and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. 

It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.

My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, "I have a question."

"What do you want to know?" I responded.

"Mom, when you're driving," she asked, "are YOU ever the idiot?"

There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand.  It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop.

Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cent," and a single, very small glass. 

Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway.

He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig.  He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up."

The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents."

To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime."

"It is," the little boy replies, "that's all you can drink for a dime."

A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. 

By the time he got home Sunday, the leg was very swollen and he was having difficulty walking, so he called his physician at his home.  The doctor told him to soak it in hot water.  He tried soaking it in hot water but the leg became more swollen and more painful.

His maid saw him limping and said, "I don't know, I'm only a maid, but I always thought it was better to use cold water, not hot, for swelling." He tried switching to cold water, and the swelling rapidly subsided.

On Monday morning he called his Dr.  again to complain.  "Say Doc, what kind of a doctor are you anyway?  You told me to soak my leg in hot water and it got worse.  My maid told me to use cold water and it got better."

"Really?" answered the doctor, "I don't understand it - my maid said hot water."

At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer whale, but he wouldn't tell us why. 

No amount of discussion could get him to change his mind. 

Later, when we got home, we discovered the reason for his reluctance. 

An aunt had told him how exciting the show would be because "they choose children from the audience to feed Shamu."