Entertainment

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces.

He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of state department of transportation workers.

The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it.

Then they began fitting the pieces together.

In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.

"Astonishing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief.

"What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?"

The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."

This weekend while shopping in a local toy store, I came across a long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As I scanned the line, I noticed a friend waiting with all the others. I knew my friend had no daughters or young relatives, so I figured he must like the dolls himself.

"Bill," I said going up to him, "I didn't know you were a collector!"

"I'm not," he replied.

"Oh," I said, "You're buying a gift, then."

"No, not at all," my friend responded.

"If you don't mind my asking then Bill," I said, "Why are you standing in this line?"

"Oh that," he answered. "It's like this," my friend stated, . . ."I've never been able to resist a barbie queue!"

As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors.He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys,tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors.

On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor. His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends. The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive.

Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg. He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told him there was no liability and he could get lost!

You can imagine he was rather put off with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever. All the posters came down, the toys were given away - tractors were GONE.

Many years later, Joe went into a restaurant for lunch. Inside, the cigarette smoke was terrible but through it he saw a beautiful girl seated at a table on her own. Tears were streaming down her face. Joe asked her what was wrong and she said that the smoke was making her eyes sting and stream with tears.

With that, Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside into the car park and blew all the smoke out again.

He went back into the bar where the air was now clear and sweet and sat down next to the girl.

"That was amazing!" she said, "How did you do that?"

"No problem", said Joe "I'm an extractor fan"

We have an old tree that became diseased and was losing its bark. We felt it needed a bark transplant and called a tree surgeon.

The communication was mangled and when the surgeon arrived, he went to work on a tree across the street.

He was halfway done when I noticed the error.

I tried to stop him, yelling, "Stop! Stop! You're barking up the wrong tree!"