Entertainment

A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They then decided to have a butler and, wanting the best, they traveled to London to hire one. They found the perfect butler through an agency and brought him back to their estate.

The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room table for 4 people, that they were inviting the Cohens to brunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping.

When they returned, they found the table set for 8 people. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four.

The butler replied, "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Bagels and the Knishes."

On her 15th birthday, my daughter opened a package from her mom and her sisters. Out came a beauty case containing many samples of makeup.

"Neat!" I exclaimed. "Your own tackle box!"

My wife calmly explained that it was NOT a tackle box; it was a beauty kit. My daughter proceeded to open it up and show us all the mascara, eye shadow, rouge, and other cosmetics.

At this point I leaned over to my wife and whispered, "I told you it was a tackle box. Just look at all those lures."

A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat.

She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do.

He replied calmly, "Get the cat, and the tail, and we'll take them to Wal-Mart."

She was incredulous. "How could that possibly help?" she asked.

"Well," he replied, "they're the world's largest retailer."

I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box.

Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue.

"Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?"

"Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen.

"But next time, I'd prefer the title 'Your Highness.'"