Entertainment

One day, the president of the United States was sitting in the Oval Office reading a newspaper to catch on that day's current events. All of a sudden, one of his secret service men burst through the door with a long bull whip in his hand. The president looks at him and thinks, "Ok!", but tries to ignore him, thinking it's some kind of gag.

The secret service man then begans to take that bull whip and begins "cracking" it, and walking around the president's desk. The president looks up and asks him what he's doing, but the secret service agent ignores him and goes, "Uh, hum" but keeps cracking the whip as he walks around the presidents desk.

The president gets enough and yells at the secret service agent, "BY EXECUTIVE ORDER, I DEMAND YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

The secret service agent sheepishly looks up at him and says, "Sir, I'm just beating around the Bush!"

A first grade class teacher, for the "Natural World" section of her class, had a lesson about owls.

She explained to the class about how they are nocturnal, how they can swivel their heads so far in either direction that it looks like they can turn them completely around, etc., etc. Then she described how the birds swoop down to get their prey for dinner.

Following the lesson, she asked the children to draw a picture of one of the fascinating things owls do.

Looking over the pictures, she praised and applauded each child on their efforts. She was puzzled, however, by one drawing. It was of an owl with its wings neatly folded, its eyes closed and a dead mouse nearby. "Exactly what is this showing?" she asked.

The little girl explained, "It's just like you said 'The owl swoops down and prays before dinner.'"

Man works in a hardware store, and all of a sudden one day, a whole lot of tins of paint fall on him.

Of course, he's whisked off to hospital where they manage to clean him up physically, but mentally there's some definite scarring.

It was such an unusual case that the psychologist, treating the victim, called it by a brand-new term - Post-chromatic Stress Disorder.

An original pun by list member Leonie Edge!

A guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre.

However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Ford Econoline ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a daring and otherwise brilliant crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."