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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4871 - December 10, 2023

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!holiday memories

We're into the shortest days and darkest and rainiest nights of the year here at Cybersalt World Headquarters. But in 11 days we will have the "shortest" day and from there we can start our slow rush back to the longest day on June 21. So hang in there all you northern hemispherers!

Today's video share is a real tear jerker. Remember, I warned you!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 



Christmas Tree Hunt

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here:

trees christmas farmTwo goobers went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one goober turned to the other and said,

"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"



One-Liner #1791

christmas lights tangledDecember weather is more confusing than trying to untangle rainbow Christmas lights.



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Cat Songs Pun

christmas kitten*Cats Favorite Christmas Songs*

1. Up on the Mousetop

2. Joy to the Curled

3. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus

4. Jingle Balls

5. Wreck the Halls



Quote #2226

living nativity"Remember this December, that love weights more than gold."

- Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon



Time, Wisdom, Experience, Aging

school learnThings People Have Learned Through the Years...

I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".
- Age 5

I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
- Age 7

I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
- Age 9

I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
- Age 12

I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
- Age 14

I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
- Age 15

I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
- Age 24

I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
- Age 26

I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
- Age 29

I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
- Age 30

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
- Age 42

I've learned that you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.
- Age 44

I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
- Age 46

I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.
- Age 47

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
- Age 48

I've learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.
- Age 49

I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
- Age 50

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
- Age 51

I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
- Age 52

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
- Age 53

I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
- Age 58

I've learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage.
- Age 61

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
- Age 62

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
- Age 64

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
- Age 65

I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.
- Age 66

I've learned that everyone can use a prayer.
- Age 72

I've learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I've seen several.
- Age 75

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
- Age 82

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
- Age 90

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
- Age 92 


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

From Roast Turkey to Reindeer

Reindeer in snowNothing is more confusing than being in the middle of two holidays. I have just finished Thanksgiving, and now Christmas is before me. Each year, it gets more difficult to adjust to the next holiday. It’s hard for me to keep up.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

One-Liner #1791

christmas lights tangledDecember weather is more confusing than trying to untangle rainbow Christmas lights.

  • Weather One-liners
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Christmas Humor
  • Christmas One-liners

Cat Songs Pun

christmas kitten*Cats Favorite Christmas Songs*

1. Up on the Mousetop

2. Joy to the Curled

3. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus

4. Jingle Balls

5. Wreck the Halls

  • Cat Jokes
  • Music Puns
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Christmas Humor
  • Christmas Puns

Christmas Tree Hunt

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here:

trees christmas farmTwo goobers went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one goober turned to the other and said,

"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

  • Clean Jokes
  • Goober Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4870 - December 7, 2023

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

wild iceCybersalt World Headquarters is almost fully decorated for Christmas, including 3 LED bulbs in our ceiling fan. I have each bulb rotating through different colours at a different rate. I think it lends itself to a very fun and warm holiday atmosphere. Grandma Cybersalt is not a fan of these changing lights, but she is a fan of me so I am enjoying them (and that!)

Early in our shared Christmas life, I discovered that Susan preferred a Christmas tree without tinsel (Somehow that difference never came up during our premarital counselling.) Tinsel on the tree was something that was present in copious amounts on my family's Christmas tree. We even carefully saved it each year becaue the crinklier it was the more it relfected the lights around it. But I am a fan of Susan, so I gave up tinsel a long time ago. Honestly, my hands don't even shake anymore when I see a box of tinsel for sale!

Today's video share amazes me because of the incredible ice conditions it shows and because people walk 2 hours (gaining 1,500 feet of elevation) to get to this lake to skate on it. Honestly, they exercise so they can exercise!
Click here to watch the video

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 



Rainy Weather Humor

rainNothing personal against Seattleites - feel free to change it to any other place that gets a lot of rain.
------------------

A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and out of despair asks, "Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"

The kid says, "How should I know?
I'm only 6."

------------------

"I can't believe it, " said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"

"Well, that's hard to say, " replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."

------------------

Q. What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?

A. A weekend

------------------

What did the Seattle native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?

"Nice tan."

------------------

Did you know that Cinderella was a Seattle native?

Who else would need a fairy to get to the ball?

------------------

Meteorological experts were predicting a gargantuan flood that would destroy the world.

The Pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your Maker."

The President went on national TV and announced, "Our scientists have done all they can. The end is near."

The Seattle evening news came on and said, "Today's five day forecast-same as usual."

------------------

What does daylight savings time mean in Seattle?

An extra hour of rain.

------------------

It rains only twice a year in Seattle: August to April and May to July.



One-Liner #1790

christmas lightsDecember is the month to “sleigh” the holiday decorations!



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Brown Paper Pete

cowboyA cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whisky. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers, and brown paper shoes."

"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.



Quote #2225

angel"Angels from the realms of glory wing your flight over all the earth. You who sang creations story, now proclaim Messiah's birth! Come and worship; worship Christ the newborn King."

-James Montgomery



Most Important Words

word cloud positiveThe six most important words

"I admit that I was wrong!"

The five most important words

"You did a great job."

The four most important words

"What do you think?"

The three most important words

"May I help?"

The two most important words

"Thank You!"

The most important word

"We."

The least important word

"I"


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I Then Thought of Chocolate

thankful blessedEverybody has their own comfort food. I have a long list of comfort food, and Apple Fritter is at the top. Nothing comforts me quite like a fresh Apple Fritter.

The other day I needed some comfort food. After all, life can be rather stressful, and you either deal with the stress or let it deal with you.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

  1. Holiday Restaurant
  2. One-Liner #1790
  3. Rainy Weather Humor
  4. Brown Paper Pete

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4660
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1565

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4660

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4660

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2049

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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