A mother was dropping her son off at a friend's house.
She said to him, "Will you be good while Mommy's gone?"
The boy replied, "If you give me a dollar!"
His mother shook her head and said to him, "Why can't you be good for nothing like your father?!"
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Oh look, Turkey Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt returned on Saturday evening to find house and husband intact!
Today's video share shows the making of a huge piece of pottery that takes 3 men to sculpt. I wish a could be there to see when it is delivered from the factory; I am sure it would be the biggest bowl movement I have ever seen!
Click here to watch the video
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion. But doesn't.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
The following is especially foul - even for this list!
"TALKING TURKEY"
What does a turkey say?
"Gobble, gobble, gobble?" ....... Not always!
What does ...
A jewelry-lovin' turkey:
"Bauble bauble bauble"
A dyslexic turkey say?
"Boggle Boggle Boggle"
A turkey in the shoe repair shop say?
"Cobble cobble cobble"
A turkey who was an old-time movie fan say?
"Gable, Gable, Gable!"
A turkey with a sore throat say?
"Gargle Gargle Gargle"
A turkey with a sore leg say?
"Hobble hobble hobble."
A football turkey say?
"Huddle, huddle, huddle"
A dieting turkey:
"Nibble, nibble nibble."
A one-legged Cockney turkey
"'Obble 'Obble 'Obble"
A turkey who argues a lot:
"Squabble squabble squabble."
What does Dr. Seuss' turkey say?
"Tweedle beetle paddle battle puddle wobble hobble gobble."
Then there was the dizzy Turkey who just went...
"Wobble Wobble Wobble!"
"Healing also means taking an honest look at the role you play in your own suffering."
- Unknown
When I was younger, I remember receiving the inevitable homework assignment to write an essay on "something I am thankful for." Then I'd spend a lot of time sitting in my room trying to figure out just what in the world that could possibly be; and I'd end up writing down everything I could think of from God to environmental consciousness.
But after having children, my priorities have clearly changed:
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful to have been born the USA, the most powerful free democracy in the world.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes -- which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the back seat windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto the freeway.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the recycling program which will preserve our natural resources and prevent the overloading of landfills.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a blimp the size of, say, New Jersey, on his bottom.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for microwaveable macaroni and cheese -- without which my children would be surviving on about three bites of cereal and their own spit.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the opportunity to obtain a college education and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being interrupted.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to "cause drowsiness" in young children.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for all of the teachers who had taught, encouraged and nurtured me throughout my formative years.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for all of the people at Weight Watcher who let me strip down to pantyhose and a strategically placed scarf before getting on the scale each week.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for the Butterball turkey hotline.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car, and trendy clothes.
AFTER CHILDREN: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
What would Thanksgiving be without a turkey? I read somewhere that over 45 million turkeys are purchased during the Thanksgiving holiday. I’m unsure if that’s correct, but I believe it comes close to the mark.
Thanksgiving is always my favorite time because the focus of Thanksgiving is food. Nobody loves food more than I do. I am always anxious for our Thanksgiving dinner to come.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Some people REALLY love Christmas. Me, I love Thanksgiving.
Last year I had my chance to do the traditional thing of shooting my own turkey for Thanksgiving.
The following is especially foul - even for this list!
"TALKING TURKEY"
What does a turkey say?
"Gobble, gobble, gobble?" ....... Not always!
What does ...
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion. But doesn't.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
