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Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone!
After attending a Christmas party last night, with other members of the worship team from our church, Grandma Cybersalt and I seem to have nothing else social on our agenda between now and Christmas day. That's OK with us as we've had a lot on our plates the last month or so, including Susan being plagued by a cough she has just gotten over in the last few days. We'll just use the time to catch up on all of the nothing we are behind in doing!
Today's video share is a Christmas commercial inspired by real events.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
Christmas Cookie Rules
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!
So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!
One-Liner #1793
It's strange there is a setting on every toaster to completely burn the bread.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Christmastime Separation
“Christmas: That time of year when a wife has to separate the men from the toys.”
- Lee Daniel Quinn
Quote #2228
"To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold."
- Aristotle
Marriage, control
My wife and I get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none.
After years of putting up with her pestering, I finally decided I'd had enough and advised her that I would no longer drive with her in the car.
Later that day, on my way home from doing some Christmas shopping at the mall, I heard my cell phone ring as I was merging onto a freeway. It was my wife calling.
By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind me.
"Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights; it's starting to rain."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Why Did God Give Rudolph a Red Nose?
This is the time of the year when churches give way to the Great White Way. I am referring, of course, to the annual Sunday school Christmas program. No church year is complete without this extravaganza. I want to know who started this and why.
Have you ever noticed that many questions have no answers?
At least nobody bothers offering any real answers to some questions. Then there are those questions that come out of left field. They have no logic attached to them and often catch us off guard at the moment of inquisition.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
It's strange there is a setting on every toaster to completely burn the bread.
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
“Christmas: That time of year when a wife has to separate the men from the toys.”
Meowy Christmas from your loving cat.
I never understood how the little drummer boy's parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school.
"Christmas is a time when lots of people get Santa-mental."
"It's what you give that makes an impact on this world, regardless of the things you have."
Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year. (This happens when you combine a headstrong three-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.)
Lately, I’ve been having some fascinating dreams at night. Usually, I don’t give much thought to dreams, but lately, I’ve been thinking more about them.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 