First man: "I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller."
Second man: "I thought they just hired a new teller last week."
First man: "Right. That's the one they're looking for."
One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties.
As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given.
The next year things were different, however.
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, the last Chicken Thursday of 2023!
Grandma Cybersalt's and my Christmas experienced some last minute changes when our granddaughter tested positive for COVID on Christmas Eve. That resulted in us going nowhere on Christmas morning to open presents. Instead we slept in, had Susan's sister over for a visit and then the three of us enjoyed a wonderful turkey dinner that I picked up from the main gathering of family and friends who were already infected or exposed!
Today's video share is of a recent world record drone show. They tried for 1,500 drones, and pulled it off with 1,499. If you watch closely you can catch glimpses of the one drone that didn't want to play!"
Click here to watch the video
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties.
As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given.
The next year things were different, however.
"The children came over in person to thank me," the grandmother told a friend triumphantly.
"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in behavior?"
"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the checks"
Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31; unlike me, it had a date on New Year’s Eve.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
First man: "I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller."
Second man: "I thought they just hired a new teller last week."
First man: "Right. That's the one they're looking for."
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
- C.S. Lewis
Afrikaans - Geseënde kersfees en voorspoedige nuwe jaar
Apache (Western) - Gozhqq Keshmish
Arabic - I'D Miilad Said ous Sana Saida
Croatian - Sretan Bozic
Danish - Glædelig Jul oggodt nytår
Farsi - Sal-e no mubarak
French - Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année!
German - Fröhliche Weihnachten und ein glückliches Neues Jahr!
Greek - Kala Christougenna Ki'eftihismenos O Kenourios Chronos
Hawaiian - Mele Kalikimaka & Hauoli Makahiki Hou
Hebrew - Mo'adim Lesimkha. Shanah Tova
Hindi - Shubh Naya Baras
Iraqi - Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish - Nollaig Shona Dhuit
Iroquois - Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson homungradon nagwutut & Ojenyunyat osrasay
Italian - Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo
Japanese - Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Korean - Sung Tan Chuk Ha Kyrghyz - JangI jIlIngIz guttuu bolsun!
Latin - Pax hominibus bonae voluntatis
Maori - Kia orana e kia manuia rava i teia Kiritimeti e te Mataiti Ou
Mongolian - Zul saryn bolon shine ony mend devshuulye
Nepali - krist Yesu Ko Shuva Janma Utsav Ko Upalaxhma Hardik Shuva & Naya Barsa Ko harkik Shuvakamana
Norweigan/Nynorsk - Eg ynskjer hermed Dykk alle ein God Jul og Godt Nyttår
Polish - Wesolych Swiat i Szczesliwego Nowego Roku.
Portuguese - Boas Festas e um feliz Ano Novo
Romanian - Craciun fericit si un An Nou fericit!
Russian - Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva i s Novim Godom
Samoan - Ia manuia le Kilisimasi ma le tausaga fou
Slovenian - Vesel božič, srečno novo leto
Somali - ciid wanaagsan iyo sanad cusub oo fiican.
Spanish - Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo
Sudanese - Wilujeng Natal Sareng Warsa Enggal
Swedish - God Jul och Gott Nytt à r
Tagalog - Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon
Tahitian - Ia ora i te Noere e ia ora na i te matahiti 'api
Thai - Suksan Wan Christmas lae Sawadee Pee Mai
Ukrainian - Veseloho Vam Rizdva i Shchastlyvoho Novoho Roku!
Vietnamese - Chuc Mung Giang
Welsh - Nadolig llawen a blwyddyn newydd dda
Sinh - Chuc Mung Tan Nien
Zulu - Sinifesela Ukhisimusi Omuhle Nonyaka Omusha Onempumelelo
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
It doesn't seem possible another Christmas has come and gone. They come and go so fast that I'm not sure I can keep up with all of this. Every year, our family has more people, which is never bad.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31; unlike me, it had a date on New Year’s Eve.
Click here to view this edition online!
Christmas Eve greetings, everyone!
Once again this season finds us hearkening to Christmases past as a blueprint to reference the recreation of the traditions and conditions that have comforted us for years. For many, it is a happy time because everything required for this festive reconstruction has endured another 365 days.
However, others have found that the same cupboard that has always stored the bounty from which they have been able to retrieve what they desired to deck their hearts with warmth of family and community, is now missing some of their most favorite and cherished "things." Military service, prison sentences, estrangement, poor health, the passing of loved ones, and more, have lightened, or stripped bare altogether, their shelves - leaving only a dusty outline of those who once filled the storehouse of their heart.
These painful reminders of loss assault our senses and risk dragging us captive to dark places, where no positive thought may be entertained nor hope whispered. But, through eyes of faith we can look past what is gone and see Who has always been there: the Creator of the shelves, the cupboard and the world that holds it. It was into that same world that he entered as a man to defeat the cause of everything that has ever been, or will be, lost: death.
Grandma Cybersalt and I hope and pray that, regardless of whatever the fulness or emptiness you are experiencing today, that you have a blessed Christmas as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, come to save us from the penalty of our sins and restore us to a right relationship with our Creator and Father in Heaven.
Today's video share is one that has probably not yet happened for most of you: one of the Christmas Eve Services at our church. You can watch it live (or replay it) at:
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
In light of Competition Global Challenges, the North Pole is required to continue to take more competitive steps.
Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary.
The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic plant, providing savings in maintenance costs.
The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during the working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated.
The three French hens will remain intact and we may actually expand the number of hens used. A recent time-motion-profitability study proved that using illegal migratory fowl is extremely profitable as it eliminates the company's need to provide employee benefits because the hens do not meet federal residency requirements.
The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked. Once this information is determined, the Accounting Department will deduct the costs of any inappropriate non-business calls from their final paycheck.
The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.
The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of their decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by the Personnel Department will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.
The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes to better enhance their outplacement.
As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the work force is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring, or a-motoring.
Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. Let me hasten to add that the company policy prohibits age discrimination. Should these individuals be asked to leave prior to their voluntary retirement, rest assured our Law Department will ensure an ironclad defense against an employee lawsuit.
Ten Lords-a-Leaping is overkill. The high costs of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, significant savings should result due to the number of congressmen left unemployed by the election.
Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings to the bottom line.
Though incomplete, studies by our latest consultant indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop-ship in one day, service levels will be improved and we can expect a substantial reduction in the use of part-time personnel.
Happy Holidays!
Santa's Workshop Inc., a Limited Liability Partnership Corporation
"A bookstore is one of the only piece of evidence we have that people are still thinking."
- Jerry Seinfeld
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-a-roid.
"Jesus became man because what was needed was the death of a man who was more than man. The incarnation was God's locking himself into death row."
- John Piper
If I speak in the tongues of Christmas materialism and greed but have not love, I am only a tinny Christmas song or an out of tune choir.
If I have the gift of knowing what Aunt Agatha will give me this year and can even understand last year's present, and if I have the faith that I won't get yet more socks and ties this year but have not love, I am nothing.
If I clear out the house and give everything to charity and my credit cards are snapped in half but have not love, what can I possibly gain?
Love is patient when the fourth store you've tried doesn't have a bottle garden.
Love is kind and lets the couple with only a few items go in front of you and your bulging shopping cart.
Love does not envy your friend who gets mega-presents from everybody.
Love does not boast about the $1200 bike, the ipad, the TV, cell phone, and computer your dad gave you.
Love does not attempt to out-buy, out-wrap, and out-give the rest of the family just to impress.
Love doesn't cut Aunt Flo off your Christmas card list because she forgot you last year.
Love is not self-seeking and leaves a copy of your Christmas list in every room of the house.
Love is not easily angered when the young girl at the checkout takes forever because she is just temporary staff.
Love doesn't keep remembering how many times your mum forgets you don't like brussel sprouts.
Love does not delight in the commercial bandwagon but rejoices with the truth of a baby born in the stable.
Love always protects the family from Christmas hype.
Love always trusts that the hiding places for presents will remain secret for another year.
Love always hopes that this year more neighbors will drop in to your open house coffee morning.
Love always perseveres until the cards are written, the presents all bought, the shopping done, and the Christmas cake iced.
Toys may break, socks wear thin but love never fails.
Where there is the feeling of the presents to guess their contents, and mum going on about being good so Father Christmas will come, and searching through the cupboards to find your hidden presents, they will all stop.
For we think we know what we are getting, and we hope we know what we are getting but when Christmas Day arrives all will be revealed.
When I was a child I talked with big wide-open eyes about Christmas, thought that Christmas was all about me; I reasoned that Jesus should have been born more often. When I became an adult, I forgot the joy, wonder, and excitement of this special time.
Now we just hear about the angels, shepherds, and wise men, then we shall see them all the time. Now I know as much as the Bible says about the first Christmas, then I shall know just how many wise men there were and where they came from.
Now three things remain to be done:
To have faith that the baby born in a stable is the Son of God.
To hope that the true message of Christmas will not get discarded with the wrapping paper and unwanted gifts.
And the most important: to have a love for others like the one that God has for us.
Copyright 2001 Claire Jordan (caleb@eurobell.co.uk). Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
A tradition, a friend of mine used to opine, is anything done more than once. He just may have something there. I love tradition; however, many people turn their nose up at the word as though it was a bad smell.
I have always believed tradition is the glue holding families together.
Many important traditions focus on the Christmas season. One tradition in our family centered on the annual Christmas tree. Nobody in our family can remember how this tradition started or even why. I have my suspicions, but some suspicions are better kept to themselves.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
