Entertainment

The cartoon characters were playing draw poker between the takes of the epic movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

Roger was the big winner but Mickey Mouse and Huckleberry Hound were doing well. Goofy, Casper the Ghost and Donald Duck were losing, when Casper picked up the two, three, four, five and seven of hearts. He was unable to scare any of the other players into folding their hands as all but Casper drew one or two cards.

The bidding on the second round was quite animated as the pot grew to the largest to date. Casper showed his hand and started to take the pot when Roger put down the King, eight, six, five and three of spades to beat him.

The moral of the story: The spirit was willing but the flush was weak.

!!!Warning!!! These are amongst the worst puns I have ever sent out on the CleanPun list. Admittedly though, they are in a style that some love so if the first couple don't do it for you - just stop because it isn't going to get better!

Q. Why does a tiger have stripes?

A. So he won't be spotted.

Q. What do you call a cat who does tricks?

A. A magic kit.

Q. What kind of work does a weak cat do?

A. Light mouse work.

Q. Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?

A. Because she wanted to mail a litter.

Q. Which state has a lot of dogs and cats?

A. Petsylvania.

Q. Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?

A. Catch.

Q. What do English cats drink in the afternoon?

A. Kit-tea.

Q. Where did the kittens go on their class trip?

A. To a mewseum.

Q. How do you call a barber cat?

A. Yell..."Hair Kitty!"

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear: "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."

"That's amazing!" exclaims the doctor.

"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."

The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say: "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!"

The doctor was dumbfounded. "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never come across anything like this."

"Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear to my ankle," the man urged.

The doctor did so and was blown away to hear his ankle plead: "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Only 5 bucks. Please!!"

"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. He frantically searched all his medical reference books. "There's nothing about it in here." The doctor thought hard for a moment and then said, "Let me try to make a well educated guess. Based on all my previous experience, I can tell you this much: your leg seems to be broke in three places."