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Entertainment

California

man smileCalifornia does have its faults.

  • Clean Puns
  • Clothing Puns
  • Fashion Puns
  • Science One-liners

Ancestry

woman winkThe following was overheard at a recent 'high society' party.

"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine.

She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"

"I don't know," replied Miriam, "All of our records were lost in the flood."

  • Clean Jokes
  • Family Jokes
  • Ancestry Jokes
  • Bible Jokes

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4868 - November 26, 2023

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!Christmas Music Flaming Organ

With less than one month to go until Christmas day Grandma Cybersalt and I have yet to unpack any of our decorations. But I think today is the day when we will get much of it done because Susan is under the weather, so a slow afternoon of decking the halls is in order.

Today's video share shows a great way to stay warm while playing Christmas music!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 



Beware of Bread

bread 1A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. 

The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up). 

I was horrified.  When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming?  Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice ....

1: More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.

2: Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3: In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4: More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5: Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse.  The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6: Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.

7: Bread has been proven to be addictive.  Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, actually begged for bread after only two days.

8: Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to harder items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.

9: Bread has been proven to absorb water.  Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10: Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!  That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

11: Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1: No sale of bread to minors.
2: No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
3: A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4: No animal or human images, nor any primary colours (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5: A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers.

Please send this article on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue.

Remember: Think globally, act idiotically.



One-Liner #1788

angry man 3I can't keep calm; I'm Scottish!



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Be Good

car dashA mother was dropping her son off at a friend's house.

She said to him, "Will you be good while Mommy's gone?"

The boy replied, "If you give me a dollar!"

His mother shook her head and said to him, "Why can't you be good for nothing like your father?!"



Quote #2224

man silhouette"The enemy knows your name, but calls you by your sin. God knows your sin, but calls you by your name."

- Unknown



Denominations

hippoThis past Saturday I took my three children to the zoo.

My middle child was busy explaining about all the animals to her younger sister.

Being the know-it-all she is at the age of five she was telling her sister who is 3 all about the hippoprotestants.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

How Much Is Laughter Really Worth?

man laughingOf all the things I prioritize in my life, laughter is at the top of the list. I appreciate laughter more than any other thing.

Some people get paid for their jokes, while others pay mightily. I am in the latter category. I like to make people laugh, but sometimes it costs me.

Whenever I see somebody with a frown, my first thought is how to make that person laugh. If it's in the supermarket and they're walking down the aisle toward me, I put in gear something to make them laugh. Usually, it works, but once in a while, it doesn't.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

One-Liner #1788

angry man 3I can't keep calm; I'm Scottish!

  • One-liners
  • Saying One-liners

Beware of Bread

bread 1A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. 

The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up). 

I was horrified.  When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming?  Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice ....

1: More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.

2: Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3: In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

  • Clean Jokes
  • Food Jokes
  • Bread Jokes
  • Newspaper Jokes
  • Crime Jokes

Read more: Beware of Bread

  1. Be Good
  2. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4867 - November 23, 2023
  3. Turkey Hunting
  4. Turkey Puns

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4650
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4650

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4650

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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