Two analytical chemists in the Wild West are on the town's main street, ready to draw their weapons.
One says: "Don't MOVE, or I'll fill you full of 98% Lead, 1% Antimony, 0.98% Cobalt, and 0.02% elements below their detection levels!"
The other one says: "HOLD on there, cowboy. Are those values CERTIFIED??"
After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer.
Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the same company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper items... with a "thank you" note from the manufacturer.
"Well, What do you think?" asked his smiling wife, Olga.
"I think that next time," Dewey replied. "I'm writing to Toyota".
A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the leaky pipe," he announced.
"I didn't call a plumber," said the lady.
"What?" huffed the plumber. "Aren't you Mrs. Frobisher?"
The Frobishers moved out of this house over a year ago," explained the lady.
"How do you like that," grunted the plumber. "They call you up and tell you it's an emergency and then they move away!"
A man is applying for a job as mechanic that he really wants to get.
The boss says, "Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and pop it back on your head?"
The mechanic nods, confused.
"Can you play light saber with your wrench and another man's screwdriver?"
"Oh yes," says the mechanic.
"Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement, grab it, whirl it around and put it in your belt like a gun?"
"Sir, I've been doing that for years!" says the wanna-be mechanic.
"Well in that case, I can't use you. I have 12 men doing that already!" says the boss.
I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack.
"Where's your mother?" I asked.
"She said she was going to have a shower. Just a second, I'll see."
Dewey went to the kitchen tap and turned the hot water on full blast.
An indignant yell came from above.
Dewey calmly turned off the tap and said, "Yep, she's in the shower."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
