A friend of mine bought a new car that sported an on-board computer. One Sunday morning when he got into the car to drive to church, the digital display lit up. Glancing at the readout, he chuckled at the announcement:
"Time for service."
This project is so important that we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.
A preacher phoned the city's newspaper.
"Thank you very much," said he, "for the error you made when you announced my sermon topic for last Sunday. The topic I sent you was 'What Jesus Saw in A Publican.'
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Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I'm off to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned and to be reminded that I should remember to brush behind my front teeth as well! I do pretty well with brushing and flossing my teeth regularly, but I will admit that being fastidious about some of the finer details of oral hygiene does fall by the wayside when I've already had a day full of lots of little chores and tasks
Today's video share is a place I've been to a couple of times in my life and have been hoping to revisit on some of my recent trips back home. "Big Chute" is the only marine railway of it's kind in North America.
You can watch the video here.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,"' asked the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule Bessie into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'."
Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say."
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me." He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.
How are you feeling?"
Sometimes you might feel like no one's there for you, but you know who's always there for you? Laundry. Laundry will always be there for you.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.”
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
Windsor Castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airport.
While a group of tourists was standing outside the castle admiring the elegant structure, a plane flew overhead at a relatively low altitude, making a tremendous noise.
One particularly annoyed tourist whined, "Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
- Photo by Susan PageEaster is a time when we stop and reflect on the gift of eternal life through the sacrifice of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. The Good News of the cross has the power to transform lives.
The topic of transformation is … quite frankly, transforming! We celebrate Easter at the time of year when we start to see winter transforming into springtime. Observe the renewal we see all around us. The tadpole changes into a frog. The caterpillar metamorphizes into a beautiful butterfly and the downpour of fresh spring rain brings renewal. Transformation is displayed in God’s very own handiwork.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he/she is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Daily renewal in Christ changes our attitudes and revolutionizes our behaviour. Just like in nature, we, by faith become new creations in Christ Jesus and that’s a beautiful thing. New and improved, the salt and light that flavours and brightens our world!
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Sometimes you might feel like no one's there for you, but you know who's always there for you? Laundry. Laundry will always be there for you.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
