She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
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Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone!
I just realized that every Sunday mailing this year has gone out with 2023 in the title. I am very disappointed in you, Raul el Perro!
There was no mailing last Chicken Thursday as I was pretty preoccupied catching up on work after moving a client's web sites (totaling about 600 gigabytes in size) from their old server to my company. On top of that last week marked the completion of updating another company server that the Cybersalt Site is hosted on. Boy, was (and is) my brain tired from all that technical work! Later today I will definitely be enjoying some downtime when I go out for Pokemon Community Day with my daughter and son-in-law!
Today's video share is a collection of POV Videos of NASCAR Crashes. Come to think of it, they kind of remind me of what it its like in my brain lately while I try to keep up at work!
Click Here to Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
Addicted to Thinking
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about.
I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.
"You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open.
The library was closed. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting.
At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."
Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
One-Liner #1822
If you're ugly and sad, buy a fishing boat and just be ugly.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Contest
There once was a sweepstakes that offered a shopping center as first prize.
The Supreme Court, however, ruled the contest illegal, since everyone knows you can't win a mall.
Quote #2257
"The most important Christians are not the ones who preach great sermons and write great books, but the ones who pray, and pray, and pray some more, sharing the quiet but effective victory of Jesus over all that defaces God's creation."
- John Piper, Lent for Everyone
Retirement
My partner and I pulled our police cruiser up behind a car stopped on the shoulder of the highway. We got out and asked the driver if we could help.
No, he replied, there was no trouble; he had just stopped to look at a map.
When we turned back, we noticed that his German shepherd had jumped in the open passenger-side front window of our car.
"You may think there's no trouble," I smiled, "but your dog obviously thinks he's done something wrong. He's in our patrol car."
He laughed. "He probably thinks you've come to take him to work," he replied. "He's a retired police dog."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Why Does Monday Have To Follow Sunday?
The older I get, the more I wake up not knowing what day it is. That is particularly true on Mondays.
My favorite day of the week is Sunday. I enjoy attending church, fellowshipping with other Christians, and, of course, the Sunday worship services. I enjoy Sunday morning and evening like no other time of the week.
Since I became a Christian about 65 years ago, I have only missed a Sunday service when I was sick or had some emergency. Sunday is the most important day of the week for me, and it has been for years. I don’t see it changing anytime soon.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
There once was a sweepstakes that offered a shopping center as first prize.
The Supreme Court, however, ruled the contest illegal, since everyone knows you can't win a mall.
If you're ugly and sad, buy a fishing boat and just be ugly.
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1996
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2050
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
