|
||
Cybersalt NewsOh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's featured page makes one wonder why cameras have red eye reduction but not white eye reduction. You will find "Cat Toy Shock" at: www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-toy-shock For those of you following the technical side of things, I am happy to report that the Cybersalt Site is now running on Joomla 1.7.0. My apologies to those of you who could not access your favorite pages for a while yesterday - including some of the links in yesterday's digest. I changed a some settings to improve database function and this broke a few things for a while. All seems to be fine once again. Enjoy the rest of today's digest. |
Here is today's CleanLaugh
Sheriff VetThe sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." |
Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?
{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}
Here is today's CleanPun
Chickens at the LibraryA pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out. Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before. About an hour later the two birds march in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening. She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..." |
Here is today's One-liner
One-liner #0685"The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with." |
Here is today's CleanQuote
Quote #1137"You do not need a parachute to skydive - you need a parachute to skydive twice." |
Here is today's Illustration
In-Law LetterWhen the man came home, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that? She's on vacation on the other side of the world!" the man said. "I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious." "And?" "At the end of the letter she wrote: PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son." |
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
End of Newsletter
A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.
Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.
About an hour later the two birds march in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.
She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.
She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."
The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian.
One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"
"Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked.
"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
"The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with."
|
||
Cybersalt NewsA few weeks ago a subscriber suggested it would be great to be able to share Cybersalt Digest items online from within the digest itself. The first thought out of my technologically overloaded mind was, "Whoa, let's just calm down there with the requests!" It turns out, though, that that options already existed in the new system I was switching over to. You can't share an individual item, but you can share the whole digest now through, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and e-mail. Starting today, you will find the links to do so in the right hand column of each Digest. Today's featured updated page is "Old Testament Penalties". You will find it at: www.cybersalt.org/cartoons/football-penalties-bible-cartoon Enjoy the rest of today's digest. |
Here is today's CleanLaugh
Professional Animal TrainerAs a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit. Every time I hung my wash out on the clothesline, she would yank it down. |
Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?
{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}
Here is today's CleanPun
Clean Pun #0221Is the Origami Society still around? I heard they folded. |
Here is today's One-liner
One-liner #0684"I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned." |
Here is today's CleanQuote
Quote #1136"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." |
Here is today's Illustration
Rejecting RejectionThe next time your application for a job is rejected fill this letter out and send it back. |
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
End of Newsletter
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1994
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2044
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!