Entertainment

"Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!"

Customer: "I have Microword Soft."
Customer: "Microwave Windows?"
Customer: "Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?"
Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) "I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn't help."
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Customer: "I have Microscope Exploiter."
Customer: "I have Netscape Complicator."
Customer: "I have Netscape Regulator."
Customer: "Uhh...I have Newscape and Outlook Exposure."
Customer: "I use Outlook Explorer."
Customer: "I have a US Robotics Sportscaster modem."
Customer: "It's not my computer that is slow. I have a 200 horse power harddrive."

"The only thing to fear is fear itself... and spiders."

"When the automatic gas pumps ask me to select a grade I usually give a B for quality and an F for pricing."

Sid suspected that the birds at the sanctuary were getting too tame.

birdfriendly

Issue #3712

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Today's featured page makes one wonder why cameras have red eye reduction but not white eye reduction. You will find "Cat Toy Shock" at:

www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-toy-shock

For those of you following the technical side of things, I am happy to report that the Cybersalt Site is now running on Joomla 1.7.0. My apologies to those of you who could not access your favorite pages for a while yesterday - including some of the links in yesterday's digest. I changed a some settings to improve database function and this broke a few things for a while. All seems to be fine once again.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Sheriff Vet

The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian.

One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked.

"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."

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Here is today's CleanPun

Chickens at the Library

A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0685

"The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with."

Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1137

"You do not need a parachute to skydive - you need a parachute to skydive twice."

Here is today's Illustration

In-Law Letter

When the man came home, his wife was crying.

"Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.

"My mother? How could she do that? She's on vacation on the other side of the world!" the man said.

"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."

"And?"

"At the end of the letter she wrote:

PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4636

Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77

We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3

It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559

Games Article Count: 15

Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count: 679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231

Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4636

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149

Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53

christmas cake We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count: 534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count: 3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count: 2944

Clean Puns Article Count: 1986

Our collection of puns.

Funny Signs Article Count: 167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count: 2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count: 1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!

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