I wish my life had background music so I could understand what is going on.
It's been a while since we saw a goober joke on the CleanLaugh list. For those who don't know what a goober is (according to me) you can see a picture of one here.
A goober was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
The goober thought for a time and then asked, "Is it turned on or off?"
It was reported recently that a Washington bureaucrat sent a letter to the state of New Mexico requesting the number of cattle guards in the state.
The state promptly responded.
When Washington saw the number they too responded promptly: "That's too many. You'll have to fire about half of them."
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
We got some good, heavy rain at Cybersalt World Headquarters last night. That makes me happy because not only is it good for our gardens, our lawn, and our community, it also will provide a nice break from the news complaining about the lack of rain we have been getting.
Today's video is of something I would not want to do, but I do admire all the passion and effort of al those who wanted to break the world record for the longest ski jump!
You can watch the video here.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Duck : Do you have any duck food?
Storekeeper: No
Duck : Do you have any duck food?
Storekeeper : No, we have no duck food
Duck : Do you have any duck food?
Storekeeper : NO!! We do not have any duck food!!
Duck : Do you have any duck food?
Storekeeper : NO!! WE DO NOT HAVE ANY DUCK FOOD!! And if you ask me that one more time I'm gonna nail your little webbed feet to the floor!
Duck : <thinks> Do you have any nails?
Storekeeper: <sigh> No....
Duck : Do you have any duck food?
Arguing with me is pointless - I realized I was wrong 10 minutes ago and now I'm just trying to make you mad.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
The biggest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."
- Robert Frost
There was a rich man who was deliberately hard on his farmhand.
He gave him a bottle and said, "Buy me a bottle of wine."
The farmhand asked, "How can I buy you wine with no money at all?"
The rich man said, "Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money."
After a while the farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to the rich man and said, "Enjoy the wine, please."
Staring at the empty bottle, the rich man asked, "There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?"
The farmhand said, "Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
Photo by Susan PageThere were times in Jesus’ short ministry years on earth when He must have reached the point of total exhaustion.
Day after day Jesus walked for miles, performing healings, and releasing people from physical disease and mental bondage. There are passages in Matthew’s Gospel that record events where Jesus heals a leper, the Centurion’s servant, and Peter’s mother-in-law. Naturally, word spread; this good news that there was a man who could do the miraculous, the result being that His work continued into the evening hours. Jesus did not punch a time clock. He gave and gave and gave again. The crowds brought many who were oppressed by demons, and He cast out evil spirits with a word and healed the sick.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers.
"Hi," you should say. "I'm a new employee. What is the name of my job?"
If they answer "long-range planner" or "lieutenant governor," you are pretty much free to lounge around and do crossword puzzles until retirement.
Most jobs, however, will require some work.
There are two major kinds of work in modern organizations:
1. Taking phone messages for people who are in meetings, and,
2. Going to meetings.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
