Cybersalt News

My apologies to those of you who received doubles of today's Cybersalt Digest.  Some of the initial mails that went out still had yesterday's news instead of today's news.

Today's featured page, a longtime favorite on the old Cybersalt site, has only recently been moved to the new site.  You will find "Mad Cow Test" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/mad-cow-test

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Australian Military Helicopter Simulation

This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO's Land Operations/Simulation division.

They had been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaissance Helicopters into exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers. Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they included things like trees and animals. For the Australian simulation they included kangaroos. In particular, they had to model kangaroo movements and reactions to helicopters (since hordes of disturbed kangaroos might well give away a helicopter's position).

Being good programmers, they just stole some code (which was originally used to model infantry detachments reactions under the same stimuli), and changed the mapped icon, the speed parameters, etc. The first time they went to demonstrate this to some visiting Americans, the hotshot pilots decided to get "down and dirty" with the virtual kangaroos. So, they buzzed them, and watched them scatter. The visiting Americans nodded appreciatively... then gaped wide-eyed as the kangaroos ducked around a hill, and launched about two dozen Stinger missiles at the hapless helicopter.

Programmers looked rather embarrassed at forgetting to remove that part of the infantry coding... and the Americans left muttering comments about not wanting to mess with the Aussie wildlife!

As an addendum, simulator pilots from that point onwards avoided kangaroos like the plague, just like they were meant to do in the first place.

One-liner #0699

"If we are to learn anything of value from Star Trek, it's that the universe is filled with vastly different styles of foreheads."
- Chris Needles

Columbus Return

The teacher asked her fifth-grade class, "How was Columbus treated when he returned from his third voyage?"

One student said, "Lots of people met him at the pier, and they all had a great time."

Sternly, the teacher said, "You didn't read the assignment!"

The student brought the textbook up to the teacher's desk and showed her where it read, "Columbus received a cool reception when he returned from his third voyage."

Quote #1153

"When we come to a clearer and more sober estimate of our own limitations and responsibilities, that makes it possible more genuinely to love our neighbor."
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer in "Letters and Papers from Prison"

Pet Bills

While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their dogs.

"What's your dog's name?" asked the first woman.

"Well, we used to call her Pork Chop," answered the second lady. "But after

the vet bills we've had for her, we now call her Filet Mignon."