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A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They then decided to have a butler and, wanting the best, they traveled to London to hire one. They found the perfect butler through an agency and brought him back to their estate.

The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room table for 4 people, that they were inviting the Cohens to brunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping.

When they returned, they found the table set for 8 people. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four.

The butler replied, "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Bagels and the Knishes."

Sweet, Red, and Idaho are all favorite kinds of taters (potatoes). Here are some lesser known ones.

1. Some people are very bossy and like to tell everyone what to do, but of course they do not wish to soil their hands.

You might call that type "DICK TATERS."

2. Some people never seem to be motivated to participate. They are content to watch while others do things.

They are ''SPECK TATERS."

3. Some people never do anything to help, but they are gifted at finding fault with the way others do things. They might be called "

COMMENT TATERS."

4. Some people are always looking for ways to cause problems.

They look to others to agree with them. "AGGIE TATERS."

5. Then there are those who always say the will, but somehow never get around to doing anything.

They are "HEZZIE TATERS."

6. Some people put on a front and act like they are someone they are not.

They are "EMMA TATERS."

7. Still, there are those who live what they talk. They are always prepared to stop what they are doing to lend a hand. They bring real sunshine into others' lives.

You might call them "SWEET TATERS."

My wife and I were having lunch at a fashionable eatery in Annapolis when we noticed what looked like a familiar face at the next table. Screwing up my courage, I asked, "Excuse me. Aren't you Marlin Fitzwater, the former White House press secretary?"

"Yes, I am," he acknowledged, and graciously interrupted his lunch to talk to us.

As we were leaving the restaurant, I remarked to the hostess, "Do you know you have Marlin Fitzwater on the terrace?"

"I'm not sure about that," she replied, "but we have Perrier and Evian at the bar."

Three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their orders for drinks.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a glass of Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and a little later, the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and awhile later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.

"I want lots and lots of water!" exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter, "but why have you only ordered water?"

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!'" replied the third little piggy.