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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4916 - June 2, 2024

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone and welcome to June.

Grandma Cybersalt and I are in Newfoundland: farther East in Canada than we have ever been!

So with that news, enjoy the rest of today's abbreviated digest!

~ Pastor Tim 



24 Pigs

lawyerA young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina.

A train had killed twenty-four pigs, and the young attorney was trying to impress the jury with the magnitude of the injury.

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, twenty-four pigs. Imagine, twenty-four pigs! 

Twice the number there are in the jury box." 



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Bonds of Matrimony

wedding armsThe bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.



Gaudiness, Godliness, and Self-Control

young blonde woman in red dress sitting on the arm of a chair.Many years ago, when my 9 year old daughter was 3, we went to our usual Sunday morning church service. We were seated and waiting for the service to begin, when this woman walked by us in a really bright, gaudy dress. My husband, who never says anything about anyone, even made a comment about how "loud" the dress was.

After the service was over, we were standing outside the church chatting with another couple. I couldn't see my daughter and then I noticed her standing right next to (practically on top of) the woman with the dress.

When I asked her what she was doing, she said "I'm trying to hear this dress mom. Dad said it was really loud, but I can't hear it."

Everyone within earshot, with the exception of my husband and the woman in the dress burst out laughing. My husband wanted to crawl in a hole, and I have to say I never saw that particular dress worn again.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

And Then there was Broccoli

Broccoli againSometimes, bad days are a blessing in disguise, but you don’t know it at the time.

I have learned that whenever I have a bad day, it is not a time to get discouraged or sad. A bad day is often a door that opens up something I never expected.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

24 Pigs

lawyerA young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina.

A train had killed twenty-four pigs, and the young attorney was trying to impress the jury with the magnitude of the injury.

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, twenty-four pigs. Imagine, twenty-four pigs! 

Twice the number there are in the jury box." 

  • Clean Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4915 - May 30, 2024

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone.

Grandma Cybersalt and I are in "getting ready for the next trip" mode, which includes getting things together so we can try and keep sending the Digest out as we travel about.

So with that news, enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 



Kid's View of Science

Six year old child sitting on the ground looking at an open book.- One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Bird-Hater

two terns facing each other on the beachA bird-hater went to the beach with a pocket full of pebbles to throw at them.

He left no tern unstoned.



Misery

nurse ai generatedPenny, a good Assessment Nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm.

After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will.

When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen and done her husband asked, "Was the patient that bad?"

Penny said, "No, I just didn't want to be the only sucker called out on a night like this."


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Susan Page writes . . . . 

Worrywart

small yellow bird with black cap sitting in a treePhoto by Susan PageHave you ever wondered where the expression “worrywart” originated?

Apparently, in the late 1950s, a character called the “Worry Wart,” was drawn by J.R. Williams and appeared in Dell comics. The character, a little tyke, was not a worrier, he was more of a troublemaker who caused others to worry.

Worry often grows out of deep concern, a heavy burden or a feeling of apprehension which can lead to fear or anxiety. I am sure that we have all struggled with these feelings from time to time.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Kid's View of Science

Six year old child sitting on the ground looking at an open book.- One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

  • Clean Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Kid Jokes

Read more: Kid's View of Science

Bird-Hater

two terns facing each other on the beachA bird-hater went to the beach with a pocket full of pebbles to throw at them.

He left no tern unstoned.

  • Clean Puns
  • Bird Puns
  • Ocean Puns
  • Outdoors Puns
  1. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4914 - May 26, 2024
  2. One-Liner #1834
  3. Goober Vacuum
  4. Cattle Guards

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4654
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4654

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4654

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2049

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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