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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4985 - February 13, 2025

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

star wars old techI was at a Chamber of Commerce meeting last evening. There was a random draw for all in attendance, the prize being a brand new washer and dryer combo. My ticket was 7 away from the winning number. I was disappointed to not win, but they did feed me brisket and chocolate cookies so in the end it was a wash!

If you are a fan of Star Wars and Nostalgic Tech, you will enjoy today's video share!
Click Here to Watch

~ Pastor Tim 



Foreign Phrases - Sort of

A horse standing among other horses in a field with its mouth open, looking like it is laughing.A New York magazine recently ran a contest. 

The rules were to take any well-known phrase in a foreign language, change just a single letter, and then provide a definition for the new expression. 

Here are some of the winners:

  • HARLEZ VOUS FRANCAIS?: Can you drive a French motorcycle?
  • IDIOS AMIGOS: We're wild and crazy guys.
  • COGITO, EGGO SUM: I think.  Therefore, I am a waffle.
  • RIGOR MORRIS: The cat is dead.
  • REPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID: Honk if you are Scottish.
  • QUE SERA SERF: Life is feudal.
  • LE ROI EST MORT.  JIVE LE ROI: The king is dead.  No kidding.
  • POSH MORTEM: Death styles of the rich and famous.
  • VENI, VIPI, VICI: I came.  I am a very important person.  I conquered.
  • PRO BOZO PUBLICO: Support your local clown.
  • FELIX NAVIDAD: Our cat has a boat.
  • HASTE CUISINE: Fast French food.
  • VENI, VIDI, VICE: I came, I saw, I partied.
  • QUIP PRO QUO: A fast retort.
  • ALOHA OY: Love, greetings and farewell from such a pain you should never know.
  • MAZEL TON: Tons of good luck.
  • APRES MOE LE DELUGE: Curly and Larry got wet.
  • ICH LIBERICH: I'm really crazy about having dough.
  • FUI GENERIS: What's mine is mine.
  • VISA LA FRANCE: Don't leave your chateau without it.
  • CA VA SANS DIRT: And that's not gossip.
  • BUN JOUR: The daily special at the bakery.
  • BAN JOUR: The daily special of the League of Decency.
  • BEN JOUR: Charlton Heston's cousin.


One-Liner #1899

A man out in a field leaning against a gate wearing a hat with ear flaps looking directly at us.I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine! 



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


My Heart Will Not be Shushed

A black and white close-up of a middle-aged woman looking over the top of her glasses with a smirk.I fell for a Librarian
I asked her to be mine,

I said, "My love you
is overdue!"

And she said, "Fine."



Quote #2334

winter fieldIt is the life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the sunbeam. This crisp winter air is full of it.

~John Burroughs, "Winter Sunshine"



Hurtling Through Space

A steel roller-coaster with an orange track and yellow cars filled with people on the down side of a loop.It was just a regular day at Darien Lake, an upstate New York amusement park.

My daughter, her friend, and I were standing in the usual long, snaking line to ride the park's roller coaster, called the Viper. It was our first ride of the day, and we like roller coasters, both wood and steel.

In line with us was a group of teenage African-American girls. They were passing the long wait by joking and laughing and just having a good time. In their care was a little girl, about nine years old, just barely tall enough to reach the magic mark of amusement park adulthood that earns access to the Viper.

When we reached the final point-of-no-return before launching, I noticed that the little girl was an odd number in her group, and therefore, without someone with whom to ride.

I hesitated. After all, I was a stranger and a white man. On the other hand, I was with my own kid and her friend, so, I would probably be considered "safe."

I didn't have a fellow rider, either. The older girls suddenly noticed their predicament and were talking about what to do -- where would the little girl ride? I finally mustered the nerve to speak up.

"She can ride with me, if she wants."

They asked her and she said, "Okay."

They had her get in the chute next to mine.

I let her in the car first and once we were both seated, I pulled down the safety bar.

The coaster started up.

Then the little girl turned and looked up at me.

"Would you hold my hand?" Shocked inside, I just replied, "Sure."

She put her little hand inside mine, and we climbed the first hill. When we started down, she squeezed my hand for all she was worth, closed her eyes so tightly that they were barely visible slits, and cried as intensely as she possibly could.

We were hurtling out into time and space and the universe together, just the two of us, this little African-American girl and this white Anglo stranger.

I had been there before, but this was new and frightening for her, and she trusted me for her safety and comfort.

Every time we reached a level area, her eyes opened and she relaxed her grip -- a little. She never let go completely. But whenever we went into a dip or turn, she bore down, and the tears fell again.

At the end of the ride, I think that she was proud of herself. I told her older friends that they should buy her a special "I survived the Viper" button. They smiled and left for other rides.

As our groups turned to go their separate ways, I thought about the little children who had been hurt by adults over the decades and the centuries. I thought about the responsibility that we adults have toward them. I thought about the tremendous privilege inherent in that responsibility.

And I thought about trust. This little girl had not bothered to see a stereotype, what I might appear to be on the outside. She just knew that she needed someone to trust. In just a few moments she had given me the best lesson I have ever had in trust, both how to trust others and how to respect, value, appreciate, and enjoy the trust given by another person.

Years later, I can still feel that little hand inside mine. Thank you, little girl -- I wish I had asked your name.

As human beings on this planet, we are thrown together into many situations and roller coaster rides. We hurtle through space at thousands of miles an hour.

The single most important aspect of our ride is how we treat those in the car with us.

- by Vance Agee


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Susan Page writes . . . . 

Golden Opportunities

Golden hour during sunset over a lake reflecting the beauty of an orange sky.- photo by Susan PageWhat golden opportunities pass by each day without us even being aware? I’m not talking about a beautiful golden sunrise, though I appreciate those. I’m referring to the golden moments in time. How do we escape the feelings of isolation and separation we may be experiencing or the anxiety we may be struggling through in these days of uncertainty?

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

My Heart Will Not be Shushed

A black and white close-up of a middle-aged woman looking over the top of her glasses with a smirk.I fell for a Librarian
I asked her to be mine,

I said, "My love for you
is overdue!"

And she said, "Fine."

  • Clean Puns
  • Valentine Puns
  • Love Puns
  • Library Jokes

Foreign Phrases - Sort of

A horse standing among other horses in a field with its mouth open, looking like it is laughing.A New York magazine recently ran a contest. 

The rules were to take any well-known phrase in a foreign language, change just a single letter, and then provide a definition for the new expression. 

Here are some of the winners:

  • Clean Jokes
  • Language Jokes

Read more: Foreign Phrases - Sort of

One-Liner #1899

A man out in a field leaning against a gate wearing a hat with ear flaps looking directly at us.I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine! 

  • One-liners
  • Saying One-liners
  • Description One-liners
  • Self-Annihilating One-liners

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4984 - February 9, 2025

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

parents cant stop laughingI recently realized that instead of groaning when I bend over to pick up something off the floor, I now groan before I bend over to do the same thing. It's almost as if I am giving my body a courtesy warning to get ready for what my brain is about to tell it to do. Here's the thing: Grandma Cybersalt does not groan before or during picking something up. I suspect she doesn't even groan in her head, probably because she does stretching exercises. I guess I should probably do some stretching exercises myself before I reach the stage where I groan when I am not even going to bend over!

Today's video share is a much needed pick me up of laughter from a couple who are trying to be dead serious.
Click here to watch.

~ Pastor Tim 



Interesting Thoughts

A young man in a blue shirt and backwards ball cap with his hand on his forehead looking confused.Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"



One-Liner #1898

A woman with a long braid looking directly at us with a shocked expression.I'm so jealous of people who know how to shut up ... I shut up and subtitles come out my face. 



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Bun Warmers 😎

The console of a Mercedes showing the buttons for heated seats.They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken.



Quote #2333

A family of 4 with 2 young children walking along a city sidewalk holding hands.Being a parent is like jumping out of a plane with a bunch of people who can't open their own chutes.

So you fly around doing it for them.

Then you hit the ground. But you don't die.

You haul yourself up off the ground and cook dinner.

- Unknown



Cake Lesson

A white-haired woman reaching into the oven to pull out a pie, from the perspective inside the oven.A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong: School, family problems, health problems, etc. Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake.

She asks her grandson if he would like a snack, which of course he does.

"Here, have some cooking oil."

"Yuck" says the boy.

"How about a couple raw eggs? "

"Gross, Grandma!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

"Grandma, those are all yucky!"

To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!"

She continued, "That's how God works in our lives, too."


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Nothing is More Satisfying than Doing Nothing

A lone person standing at the crest of a desert ridge as pre-hurricane clouds fill the air.We were facing a very severe hurricane, and everything was being shut down.

The hurricane was to hit us on a Wednesday night.

Because we were in the center of where that hurricane was supposed to come, we were not allowed to get out and drive on the streets. 

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

  1. Bun Warmers 😎
  2. One-Liner #1898
  3. Interesting Thoughts
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4983 - February 6, 2025

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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