Major Mark Wagner is planting a church for the Salvation Army (they do good work) in the same community I pastor in.

Mark is a very, very good friend of mine.  If friendships were assigned a rank Mark would be much more than a major friend – he would be a general friend.  Of course since friendships aren’t assigned ranks all I can say is that Mark is so much more than a general friend.  To me he is a major friend.

Mark also has a PhD.  This makes him a doctor friend – but he’s not the kind of doctor you go to for medical help.  Once I did turn my head and cough for Mark, but that was just to be polite and avoid coughing on him.  Really, we’re just friends.

Why am I telling you so much about Mark?  Simply to share the following e-mail conversation his brother and his brother’s wife had with their kids while they were away on holidays.

E-mail #1

We are in a really nice cabin on a river.  Our cell phones do not pick up a signal however.  If there is a need to contact us send an email (we do have wifi). There is a phone here but we can't tell what the number is.  The owner of the cabin is Michael ****** (866) 555-6789.

We love you.....be kind to each other! Mom

E-Mail #2

Hey mom, the house burnt down, all your plants died, David is missing, Mark got arrested, the lawn is trashed, I wrecked Mark’s truck into all three cars, and James left and hasn’t come back since you left.

Much love, Joel

E-Mail #3

Call State Farm, buy Mom some roses, send Picasso to find David, get a bond to spring Mark, add a little nitrogen fertilizer to the grass, put some books out on the front step to lure James home, then turn yourself in to the police.

Love Dad