- Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements.
- In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.
- Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench.
- Personal pew licenses now sold.
- Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World.
- Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep.
- The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters.
- Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft Office.
- Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon.
- Bulletin has coupon section.
- Choir members wear Dockers.
- In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel.
- There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate.
- Offering envelopes bearing Visa or MasterCard emblems on them.
- Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC.
- Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC.
- Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network.
- Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos.
[gbrl]- Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes.
- Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front.
- Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo.
- Free Perrier at all baptisms.
- Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL.