*Great Truths About Life that Children Have Learned*

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

4) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

5) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

8) Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time.

9) School lunches stick to the wall.

10) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

11) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. No matter how cute the underwear is.