~ Ever since they hit the big time, those Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.

~ Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"

~ Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.

~ Next to "race" on the census forms, there's never a box marked "elf."

~ Health plan doesn't cover sleigh rash.

~ Now have to work through coffee breaks thanks to Octo-mom.