Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed exotic patterns with ease.

There was an occasion when we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant (only one person spoke partial English, all menus were in Chinese). When she saw the handwritten menu she was so impressed with the calligraphy she tucked it in her purse.

Some months later I saw the result - a stunning white sweater with the Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front.

She received compliments galore until at one party when we met a distinguished Chinese physician who asked my wife where she got the symbols. He then wanted to know if she knew what they meant.

"I'm afraid to ask," she said, "but tell me anyway."

Even she had to laugh when he told her they read, "This is a cheap dish - but good."