June 2006 - Monthly Archive

30 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5002

New Employee Travel Policy

Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:LODGING:All employees are encoura... read more..

30 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2955

Happy Birthday Elsie

I play pinochle regularly with seven other women, most of whom are 70 or older. Recently we celebrated the birthday of our oldest member by taking her out to lunch. When the waitress came to take our ... read more..

29 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4262

Enemies in the West

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we faring?" asks the king."Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging... read more..

29 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2693

Dependents

A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he had. "Sixteen," he replied.The preparer asked, "Would you mind repeating that?"The man replied, "Not if I can h... read more..

28 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3901

The Tie

A man goes into a restaurant and the waitress stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a tie to enter".So the man goes back to his car and looks around, but there's no necktie to be found.... read more..

28 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2968

Jumper

At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked like they were about to go to blows."You've got a lot of nerve for such a shrimp!" snarled the big guy."Look, you... read more..

27 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4254

Last One

A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases ar... read more..

27 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2822

Knowing the Numbers

The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me.""Good. What comes after three.""Four," answers the boy."What comes after six?""Seven.""Ve... read more..

26 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4226

Professionalism Test

Read this out loud:This is this catThis is is catThis is how catThis is to catThis is keep catThis is a catThis is goober catThis is busy catThis is for catThis is forty catThis is seconds catNow go b... read more..

26 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2801

Lost In Jail

I was reviewing my client's case with him in prison when it was announced that visitors had 15 minutes to leave or be locked in for the three-hour prison head count. I bade my client farewell and left... read more..

25 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4197

Hearing Problems

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to ... read more..

Emotional Health - Embrace Grieving and Loss - Part 2

25 Jun

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3157

Emotional Health - Embrace Grieving and Loss - Part 2

The first phase of embracing grief and loss (paying attention to our grief) is followed by 2 other phases. Our experiencing and going through these phases is another key step to experiencing emo... read more..

24 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4690

Amish Bumper Sticker

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following hand printed sign on it . . ."Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. C... read more..

24 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3345

Flight Fear

Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the inevitable answer."Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're o... read more..

23 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4012

Three Chairs

A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday. Not too many weeks thereafter and just as services are starting, they show... read more..

23 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2745

Oriskany Falls

The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?""No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, t... read more..

22 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4114

Department Baseball

An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company.The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.To show just "how" the mark... read more..

22 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2687

What is This?

A Rabbi, a Priest and a Salvation Army pastor walk into a bar.The bartender says to them, "What is this - a joke?"... read more..

21 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4080

Happy Birthday Ten Again

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme ... read more..

21 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2869

Ten Minute Wait

I called to make airline reservations and was put on hold. After several minutes of taped music, a recorded voice came on:"If you have been waiting longer than ten minutes, you may press eight. This w... read more..

20 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6624

Altar Call

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.For... read more..

20 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

19178

High Blood Pressure

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."120," the woman says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out he... read more..

20 Jun

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2854

Support Voicemail

Cybersalt's online support voicemail is handled by Skype and the wonderful program SkyLook.Skylook marries Skype and Microsoft Outlook - providing an answering machine for Skype AND the op read more..

19 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5127

Wacky Definitions

Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.Karaoke: A Japanese word mean... read more..

19 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4176

Famous Last Words

* Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the picture.* Don't worry, it's not used any more.* Listen, I'm taking a course in chemistry, I know what I'm doing.* read more..

"Wait Til Your Father Gets Home!" Memories Of Dad

19 Jun

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

12196

"Wait Til Your Father Gets Home!" Memories Of Dad

What triggers old memories? I’m not sure what the answer to that question is but recently I had the shock of my life. And at my age, I don’t have too many shocks left.The shock came one da... read more..

18 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4434

Signs The Car You Bought Is A Lemon

1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman.2. You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free" has a dire read more..

Emotional Health - Embrace Grieving and Loss - Part 1

18 Jun

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3567

Emotional Health - Embrace Grieving and Loss - Part 1

If grief and loss were oil, gas would be free in this world. But they aren't. Just the same, mishandled grief can exact an emotional price on our life that makes gas look cheap. Only by embracing ... read more..

17 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4253

As Long As We Are One

My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches.Then he added, "It really doesn't matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we... read more..

17 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3214

The Foot Rule

There is a formula for figuring out how bed space is allocated. It is called the "Foot Rule". You start by determining the total number of feet (as in those at the end of the legs, not the kind made u... read more..