November 2004 - Monthly Archive

30 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4777

The Magician and The Parrot

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.There was only one ... read more..

30 Nov

Dr. Harold McNabb

4055

God Gave Us The Dream

Isaiah 2:1-5They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore. Come, O house of Jacob, l... read more..

29 Nov

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

9180

That Long Awaited Snowfall

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee."Psalm 56:3 (KJV) Snow! Snow! Snow! For several days the weather channel had been predicting snow for our area of the state. Maybe even two or three inch read more..

29 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4040

Hiring Slogans

Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you."CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up."MUST BE DEADLINE... read more..

28 Nov

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3652

I'll Be Home For Christmas

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.Luke 2:11 Long before the season begins, the stores begin to bring out Christmas decorations. Then, right a... read more..

28 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5277

Vampire Bat

A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began ha... read more..

28 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3325

Jar Number 47

A new miracle doctor had just arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic.Grumpy old Mr. Th... read more..

27 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

10417

Grizzly Bears

Wildlife officials in Alaska are alarmed at the increase in grizzly bear attacks on humans, and they are advising the public to be extremely careful when hiking, fishing, hunting or camping. The... read more..

"Getting Ready For Jesus" (A Children's Sermon)

27 Nov

Dr. Harold McNabb

7277

"Getting Ready For Jesus" (A Children's Sermon)

Hi, I am glad you all came for this Sunday's Kids Camp re-union Sunday. It's a special day too. Today is the first day of what we call "Advent". Advent is when we begin the celebration... read more..

27 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5588

Fish Tattoo

As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery. One patient had some type of fish tattoo on her abdomen. "That sure is an unusual looking whale," I commented.... read more..

How To Spend A Romantic Evening At The Parsonage

26 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3617

How To Spend A Romantic Evening At The Parsonage

In reviewing my schedule last week, I noticed one glaring omission. At the moment I was rather shocked at this lapse, however, I took some comfort in the fact it was not intentional. The lapse in our... read more..

26 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3000

Political Faith

Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to... read more..

25 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4292

In A Few Moments

So far today, Lord, I've done all right; I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or overindulgent.I am thankful for that, Lord.In a few moments, Lord, t... read more..

25 Nov

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

2918

The Saints, the Signs and Old Route 66!

A Hurting Word...It's Grandparents' Day every day when you have grandkids (so I hear)--so let's go down memory's lane with Grandma and Grandpa this week! We find ourselves on the old Route 66, famous ... read more..

25 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4101

Sam's Fishing

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the la... read more..

24 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7864

Drag Racing Moped

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin... read more..

24 Nov

Dr. Harold McNabb

3499

People Think That Jesus is Cool

Colossians 1:15-20Some of people of Colossae had some beliefs that we would consider pretty strange.They seemed to believe that the god who created the material world was an evil god, not the on... read more..

23 Nov

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

5269

Late Fall

"?Give it one more chance?"Luke 13:8 (NLT)The brilliant red, yellow, and orange leaves that make fall so beautiful did not materialize at the normal time where I live this year. Sighs read more..

22 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5553

One Seat Allowed

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The m... read more..

Pastors and politicians; It's my party, I'll cry if I want to.

22 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4391

Pastors and politicians; It's my party, I'll cry if I want to.

Gary Hemsely was running for some county political position ? I've forgotten which one now. What I do remember is that he was a member of my church at the time.Sometimes a pastor can get between the R... read more..

22 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2981

Canine Complex

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem."Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a do... read more..

21 Nov

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4824

Thanksgiving

Thursday is Thanksgiving, a time to give thanks for all those blessings we have received throughout the year. But, I digress. Remember all the things you (and I) have complained about during the year?... read more..

21 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4697

Quotes From 11 Year-Olds' Science Exams

The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.""When you b... read more..

21 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7656

Worm Stubborn

Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn't work. A little pl... read more..

20 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4904

Radio Transmission

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.{**Radio conversation released by the Chief of N... read more..

20 Nov

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4979

Dedication Day

"Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us,He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope."Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)Sunday was Dedication Day for read more..

20 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3569

Flu Prayer

A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu. The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been... read more..

19 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4654

Going to Disneyworld

"Hey Grandpa!, can you make a noise like a frog?""I think I can do that. Why?""'Cuz Dad says when you croak, we're going to Disneyworld" read more..

19 Nov

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3380

Living There Makes All the Difference.

When my husband and I moved to Saskatchewan, we thought we'd moved into a hair dryer. The wind that blew off the prairie that August was incessant, hot and dry. I remember standing on the back step of... read more..

18 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4435

How To Tell That You Are Getting Old

This week I celebrate another birthday, which brings me to that auspicious milestone where I am right between 52 and 54. A person only comes to this stage of life once, so I am going to make the mos read more..