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August 2004
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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31 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4715
All Roads Lead Back to Rome
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?Because that's the way they built them
...
read more..
31 Aug
Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
4247
How To Entertain An Angel
For those of you I haven't told, my grandson says he saw an angel in our worship one Sunday.Micah is almost 3 and his parents have raised him to know that Jesus loves him, and I guess he also knows ab
...
read more..
31 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3219
Clothes Hamper
I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked puzzled, and I explained, "You know; it's the place where we put our dirty clothes before they're washed."My so
...
read more..
30 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4607
Wimpy Dad
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep
...
read more..
30 Aug
Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
4836
The Olympics
"For no one can lay any other foundation than?Jesus Christ. Now anyone who builds on that foundation may use gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay or straw. I Corinthians 3:11-12 (NLT) Athens has fore
read more..
30 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2835
Goober Compensation
If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberTwo goobers were talking.One was explaining to the other how
...
read more..
28 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4184
Foreign Phrases - Sort of
A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase in a foreign language, change just a single letter, and then provide a definition for the new expression.
...
read more..
27 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4388
G.I. Excuses
The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran t
...
read more..
27 Aug
Barb's Mantle
Pastor Tim
5678
Temporal Versus Eternal
'A woman's house is her castle'. And you just don't bother a woman's castle. I'm speaking from a woman's point of view. Many of us have things we cherish, and want to keep. We put them away, and forge
read more..
27 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2881
Perfect Mate
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends."The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sin
...
read more..
26 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
13081
Ghandi Pun
Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard. Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little, and often fasted. As a result,
...
read more..
26 Aug
The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
5691
Praying with Our Eyes Open
The waitress placed a large bowl of salad in the middle of the table and handed plates all round. Spence and I chatted with our friends for another few moments, while the waitress poured tall glasse
read more..
26 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2975
Where's Mommy
One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did mommy go?"In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party
...
read more..
25 Aug
Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
7597
All Aboard MRS. Noah's Ark!
A Hurting Word... Now we all know it was MR. Noah who built the ark and bossed the ark--with the Lord's help, of course!! But it's Mother's Day, and we also know that behind every successful man, the
...
read more..
25 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3468
Grandpa And The Computer
*Grandpa And The Computer*The computer swallowed GrandpaYes honestly, its true.He pressed 'control' and 'enter'And disappeared from view.It's devoured him completelyThe thought just makes me squirm.Ma
read more..
24 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4591
"Grace"ous Host
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
...
read more..
24 Aug
Barb's Mantle
Pastor Tim
5267
Acceptance
Acceptance Weekly devotional by Barbara Sanders Everyone wants to feel wanted, to be accepted. Many spend a lifetime trying to gain acceptance in one way or another. They worry about what
...
read more..
24 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2920
Distraught Senior
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office."Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?""Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor t
...
read more..
22 Aug
The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
4017
Excuses, Excuses
Teachers hear all kinds of excuses. Like this one - "You cannot hold me responsible for knowing the material on this test, as I was sleeping during all of your lectures. As you did not wake me up,
read more..
22 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2981
Walking Recovery
An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day
...
read more..
21 Aug
Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
6632
How to Keep from Getting Spiritually Weird
One of my students observed that a whole lot of folks who have gone spiritually weird seemed to start out great, but their lives as honorable Christians ended early. They found themselves unequipped t
...
read more..
20 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3926
Interesting Thoughts
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what h
...
read more..
20 Aug
Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
4374
Precious Thoughts
"How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly!I can't even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me?"Psalm 139:17,18 (LB) Two of our grandchildren
read more..
20 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2629
Fish Heads
A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence."Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?""I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lo
...
read more..
19 Aug
Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
5120
Bone of My Bone...CLONE of My CLONE??
Adam and Eve started it...no, GOD started it--it was HIS idea. He took a rib from Adam's side and made Adam a helpmate. It was a BONE, not a CLONE...and I LIKE His creative idea. I D
...
read more..
19 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2871
Kissing Son
I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother with her college-age son and his girlfriend. It was in the middle of the dinner rush, and many customers were restless at the long wait, but
...
read more..
18 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3736
If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek: The Next Generation
Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fastBut still the trip will last and lastWe'll have two days til we arriveBut can the Indran
...
read more..
18 Aug
Barb's Mantle
Pastor Tim
5494
I Want My Daddy!
How many times have you heard, "I want my Daddy!" from your youngsters? Perhaps you just administered punishment for something they had done, and they thought Daddy would come to the rescue. I
...
read more..
18 Aug
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2630
Young Dressing
When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks.A student came in, and hi
...
read more..
17 Aug
Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
4559
Share Your Gift
"The Lord Almighty is a wonderful teacher, and He gives the farmer great wisdom."Isaiah 28:29 (NLT) Today my husband and I traveled many miles across our state to attend a memorial service for a
read more..
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